Reversing the Lost Generation

Most people today have their lives defined in the following manner, and they live the mantra below –

I am part of a lost generation
and I refuse to believe that
I can change the world
I realize this may be a shock but
“Happiness comes from within.”
is a lie, and
“Money will make me happy.”
So in 30 years I will tell my children
they are not the most important thing in my life
My employer will know that
I have my priorities straight because
work
is more important than
family
I tell you this
Once upon a time
Families stayed together
but this will not be true in my era
This is a quick fix society
Experts tell me
30 years from now, I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce
I do not concede that
I will live in a country of my own making
In the future
Environmental destruction will be the norm
No longer can it be said that
My peers and I care about this earth
It will be evident that
My generation is apathetic and lethargic
It is foolish to presume that
There is hope.

And all of this will come true unless we choose to reverse it .

Now, if we read the poem the other way around, it will be like this:

There is hope .
It is foolish to presume that
My generation is apathetic and lethargic.
It will be evident that
My peers and I care about this earth
No longer can it be said that
Environmental destruction will be the norm
In the future
I will live in a country of my own making
I do not concede that
30 years from now, I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce
Experts tell me
This is a quick fix society
but this will not be true in my era
Families stayed together
Once upon a time
I tell you this
family
is more important than
work
I have my priorities straight because
My employer will know that
they are not the most important things in my life
So in 30 years I will tell my children
“Money will make me happy.”
is a lie, and
“Happiness comes from within.”
I realize this may be a shock but
I can change the world
and I refuse to believe that
I am part of a lost generation.

Great minds often face strong opposition from weak minds

Stole this quote off my cousin Jon’s profile page. He’s definitely one of those great minds, who undoubtedly will go extremely far, burning boundaries and marking spaces where no other has before set limits.

These are the people who inspire, who remind us of what is worth pondering about rather than wasting precious ticking minutes on transitionary problems. These are the type of humans I have always wanted to be associated with, not those whose minds are filled solely with the problems of today, and cannot see with their hearts because they have built a fortress of selfish ambition and inward-lookingness around it.

I realized that for every thing, there is a solution, and what seems impossible today, may just be commonplace tomorrow, as technological evolution has proven so blatantly. The way we live our lives are dependent mainly on our minds and how we think, where we set the lines and tell ourselves this is possible, this is not. But beyond merely what we tell ourselves, the most fundamental reason why some surpass and others fall behind, is what we allow ourselves to think. The Mind is such a powerful tool to bring you to ambition, love, happiness or pain, sorrow and faithlessness.

This is how our world has continually progressed, how each generation outshines the other, and stuns their ancestors. This is the key to a life well-fulfilled. This is what I’m trying to do. This will be my mindset.

Make it yours as well.

Yes, love is still the greatest of all.

The only thing that can deal with human errors and faults, the only thing that can surpass conflict among people and stare hate in the face and return kindness, goodness and love, must be something that is bigger than all our problems and the current state of upset we are in. This verse is something I grew up with, lived with, but now cling onto to, for nothing else can help you deal with a situation of animousity and unkindness except for God’s love.

Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.

– 1 Corinthians 13

Feeling the blues

It’s one of those days when the day at the office just drags u down. But some orange juice and bitching with my friend is sure to cheer me up!

Holiday season-correlated homesickness.

I was writing a Christmas card for my family when I started feeling the onset of homesickness, combined with a not-so-fantastic day at work. It’s one of those days when u feel like u need to be at home most, but everyone’s busy doing their own thing.

Some tears did a bit of good – guess I’m slighty better now. I do miss home alot still though.

Letter to JMC

Hola mi quierido JM!

I haven’t written a letter to you in such a long time, and I figure that now is the perfect opportunity to write to you, given the 30-letter challenge and the fact that your birthday and mine just passed, marking 3 years since we got together in Mannheim!

Thinking back on the past three years (wow! 3 whole years, that’s almost or maybe more than 1000 days!), I guess we can say we’ve been through quite a lot together. From meeting you as my housemate in Germany as we both were on exchange in Uni Mannheim, to complaining to F about your and Fer cooking too much chicken and how the entire apartment would fill up with the aroma of chicken, perfect if you’re having dinner but not so if you’re in pyjamas ready to hit the bed! I remember the first time F told me that there were 2 Argentines in our VG, I wondered to myself what on earth Argentines look like. (Sorry I had no idea then, I just knew Argentina was very very far away).

Then I remember bumping into you in the kitchen when you would be preparing some breakfast of cereal and milk (or maybe something else with orange juice, or dulce de leche) and we would just chat, not too long, maybe just 5 minutes, but it always felt like we connected in a way. The next memory I have of you is the queue for Oktoberfest tickets, and how I arrived with Crystal, Jingying and some others at 6+am, to find you and Fer camped out right at the front of the queue. Someone even took a photo of you both sleeping on the ground in the cold winter morning. It was hilarious – and I thought to myself – “Gawd! these are my housemates!!” Honestly I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.

Then one day in the kitchen – I can’t remember who started the conversation – but we started talking about travel plans, and I mentioned that I was headed to Barcelona the following week, and you said “So am I!” Turned out that we were both flying on the same airlines, just one day apart. The last day in Barcelona, we flew back on the same plane, and bumped into each other with our respective group of friends just outside a shopping mall. I also remember how you told me you were amazed I didnt know how to greet people with kisses, and how I would only hug instead of making the sound of a kiss in the air. These encounters seem a little silly but somehow they always remind me of Mannheim and how we first met.

We got together sometime between your birthday and mine, and while it was crazy, knowing that I would probably not see you after we both went back to our home countries when the semester ended, I somehow thought to myself that I had to give us a chance. So during that december month of 2007, we travelled, we went to Heidelberg, Dresden and Paris, and we grew much closer. I started realizing the person you were – your depth and your understanding of life that made you want to take chances for something that was worth it because you understood the shortness of life and how important it was to appreciate and grab opportunies presented to us.

The last few days of December (particularly prior to our New Years’ trip to Paris) were unbearably tough. As the ticking clock started sounding louder to the end of the year and to the close of exchange, I felt my heart breaking as I realized it might be very possible that I may not ever see you again. I went to Paris heavy hearted, while at the same time also feeling so lucky to be able to spend New Year’s with you, in the city whose name is synonymous with “romance”. We parted in that horrible bus station in Paris, and I was crying buckets, as you waved goodbye from outside the coach, hands in your ski jacket.

Arriving back in SG, I read your emails from different parts of Europe, and we would rush to schedule timings to skype, because it felt so empty without talking to each other. When you told me you thought it was worth it to try to continue with a long-distance relationship, I was so happy I almost cried. That April of 2008, I took my flight flight to South America, Argentina, where I would spend the next two months as a graudation trip. I enjoyed myself so much, with your family and friends, that when it was time to leave, I felt so upset, and wished I could stay for another 2 more months.

Back home, I started work with SCB when my IG program started. During the last 2 years since then, we both travelled to and fro Singapore and Buenos Aires, but finally decided at the end of last year that we should both stay in the same country, we agreed in the end I would go over.

This year, two years after the first April that I arrived in Buenos Aires, I took the Malaysian Airlines flight via KL, Cape Town and Johannesburg, and stepped foot here, where I’ve been for the last 7 months.

Thank you for your love, patience, understanding and care every single day, even on days that you are busy, and when things may not be going so well for you. Thank you for surprising me with a rose on the first day of Spring, for lying to me that you were going to do something else when you were actually preparing breakfast for me, and thank you for always thinking about how I would feel.

Te amo, y beso grande,
Tu Cuquito.

The 30-letter challenge

Stumbled across a great challenge (not often) and think this is a pretty apt way to end 2010/ start 2011.

Letter 1 — Your best friend
Letter 2 — Your husband/wife/lover/bf/gf/crush
Letter 3 — Your parents
Letter 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Letter 5 — Your dreams
Letter 6 — A stranger
Letter 7 — Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Letter 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Letter 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Letter 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Letter 11 — A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Letter 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Letter 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Letter 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Letter 15 — The person you miss the most
Letter 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Letter 17 — Someone from your childhood
Letter 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Letter 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Letter 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Letter 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Letter 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Letter 23 — The last person you kissed
Letter 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Letter 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Letter 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Letter 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Letter 28 — Someone that changed your life
Letter 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Letter 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Rightfully the letters should be written in the order above and day after day, by I’m gonna allow myself some flexibility and write these letters whenever inspiration hits me.

Good luck to me!

You live, you learn..

Listening to Alanis Morisette’s famous hit, I realized how true it is.

As I grow older, I learn different things, and I learn to live with them.

Something over the weekend upset me quite alot, despite the fact that it was my birthday.

I realised that with distance, there are some bonds which slowly fizzle out and diminish with the length of time. Some friends disappear through the farness and lack of physical proximity. Others stay constant throughout the universe. Why? I asked myself, trying to find an answer to address and understand the hurt that permeated my thoughts over the last weekend.

I used to think there were a number of friends that I could count on no matter what, that being behind a computer chatting with the person should not be that much different than sitting in front of her. But there was a disappointment that manifested which I realized maybe the lack of nearness created or simply amplified. What differentiated friends who stay close and those who don’t? What makes some so special and always close while others drift aimlessly like a bobbing piece of styrofoam in the sea?

I realized it was the importance of having the same virtues, and values. What separates the former from the latter is that the former has a constant understanding of what is important, what is worth fighting for, and what is not. The latter just lacks the willpower to see the truth and continues doing what is wrong, despite countless advice from all those surrounding. What keeps two friends, or any two people close, is not just similarity of hobbies or overlapping activities, but a keen sense of interest in the other’s life, and also a strong desire to move forward in their own.

It came as a sudden revelation to me, just half an hour ago, and now I feel a little less upset and alot more at peace. Now I understand why some friends, despite the period of time that lapses between each meeting, always manage to maintain the connection, while others, without constant daily update about insignificant events, lose track and interest in your life.

It’s still sad and difficult to accept the fact, but now I understand. You live, you learn..

Oh, how November always makes me smile

What a beautiful month, a month where happy memories are always made, and when good news always come.

Suzy and Fran will be welcoming Sara Grace into their little family, anytime from now till next Tuesday, and looking at her baby shower photos yesterday, it was quite impossible to believe that in the last 6 months that I have not seen her, the little ball that was growing in her belly will now become a little girl, and yes, now that her beautiful name is revealed, I feel like she’s already here

November two years ago was when Suzy first gathered all of us to have dinner at Sushi Tei to “announce some news”….and when she broke the news of Fran’s proposal to her in the Maldives, all of us were almost dying from happiness and envy! Knowing their love story from day one… it is amazing to know that she has made it through all the milestones, marriage, and now a little baby girl.

The month of November was when they released the news that Obama would be the first black president, that he was the bringer of change to an America ridden with debt. Not too sure how that news would have been reacted to had it been released again this year, but i remember listening to his speech that Feyi sent me, and being so touched by his words and expectant of change to the largest economy in the world.

Three years ago in November was also when Juan and I first got together, in Mannheim, Germany, and here I am now, writing from my desk in Buenos Aires. Never even knew where Argentina was on the map before I met him, and now life has changed completely. Both our birthdays fall in this month, such a coincidence.

What a lovely month to be in..Oh how I love November.

Friendship…. you find it in the weirdest corners

A long time ago, I used to think that as you grow older, and graduate from student to working adult, your pool of friends can only start to diminish, until is turns from a large ripple into a almost invisible drop of water.

But I realized that friendship is an incredibly amazing phenomenon – you find it when you least expect it; and you never know with whom you’re going to develop a friendship that defies time, distance and cultural differences. I’m a pretty sociable person, but I don’t get out and party too much – in order words, I make friends when doing the most normal things (like attending Spanish classes, at work, or simply by the rare opportunity of chance).

I’ve lived a pretty international life in the last 3 years, and following that lifestyle of travelling because of work, vacation and simply school, I’ve met people who inspire, have passion for things that you might never have imagined, and people who are really just rare jewels of kindness, goodness and love. In SCB, when we travelled to Chennai, India, for our 3-week long rotation, I got to know Feyi really well, despite her being my first African friend from Nigeria; despite the fact that I used to think blacks look fierce and a little too aggressive for my liking; and despite the fact that we rarely kept in touch before that. The last time I saw her was almost a year ago, but the beautiful character that she has made me always remember the strength of a person who had the courage to admit her mistakes and accept that she had done wrong; that she dared to ask for forgiveness, and know what was important to her. I admire her motivation and faith in wanting to be Nigeria’s next finance minister – an extremely ambitious ideal for any person just starting out. I appreciated her absolutely honest sincerity that made me slightly startled at the raw intensity of it all. But it was true, that in India, a place which left so many memories and invoked so many emotions, I found a true friend.

At work in SCB, back home in Singapore, I also made friends over time, with random people – colleagues on the floor, the secretaries and generally anyone who made the effort to chat for those few more minutes outside of work. There are some people that I really appreciate for making the first few months in a completely new office so much easier, and because of that, I am always grateful. From them I learnt the most important rules to stick by in the game of office politics, but also that work mates can be fun to hang out with; that it was crucial in whom you place your trust and confidence, because there were so many others who are ready to backstab you the minute they require to.

Then I came to Argentina and lo and behold, never did I expect to see another Singaporean so soon after leaving my homeland! Jace was here for the first month I was here – working of course, but we met up a couple of times and still keep in contact once in a while. And then SY, who I met because of our mutual friend – who has interesting ideas and a pretty crazy life – who I probably would not have met if we both remained in Singapore – and who constantly amazes me! She defies many social norms and expectations of Singapore lawyers, and it is refreshing while also quite hard to believe.

But of course, the friends that you’ve had since a thousand years ago and still keep in close contact are a rarity that always make me smile. I remember going for Mrs Chua’s tuition classes on Saturdays when I was in primary school; but first going to JH’s house for a yummilicious bee hoon lunch with her granny’s famous chilli. It was from those routine saturdays that we developed our friendship, which later led to yearly sleepovers (where we had to set the alarm at 12 am to have our midnight feast), then pen pal letters as we changed schools, but over time and difference in schools, we always stayed close, even though, I in Argentina, and she in Singapore, but going to London for her law exchange in just 2 days!

And Syl, who really helped me through a thousand things – crying in the middle of the night, driving over to see if I was ok, dinner at Pasta Fresca, shopping on random occasions, late night chats on the phone, and sleepovers. SMU was largely made up of the girls – and syl was one of those that really defined SMU life. Then there is Suzy, who by chance I met at Sports Camp in Uni year one, but only 2 years later got to know her better after our internship at Bloomberg. We don’t talk so often but when we do it’s always such a wonderful thing – and I can’t wait to see her little girl when she arrives! And Joyceee, who is going to get married next year – it’s amazing to see their lives bloom like that; some people are extraordinary and you know it’s such an honour to be part of their evolution.

There are also so many more that I have yet to write about, but it doesn’t mean their friendship isn’t worth mentioning. There are too many who have touched and impacted my lives, in littles ways and then big ones too. But most importantly I know at last that my hypothesis is no longer valid.

Your circle of friends will only get wider and wider – but that also depends on you.