Holiday season-correlated homesickness.
I was writing a Christmas card for my family when I started feeling the onset of homesickness, combined with a not-so-fantastic day at work. It’s one of those days when u feel like u need to be at home most, but everyone’s busy doing their own thing.
Some tears did a bit of good – guess I’m slighty better now. I do miss home alot still though.
Letter to my best friend
Dear JH,
I’m starting on this challenge and the first letter is supposed to be dedicated to my best friend. So I thought hard, and realized that throughout the years, time and distance, throughout different friendship circles and circumstances, the one person who was non-family but has been there since as long as I could remember up till this very day, is you, yes you.
I remember that we met in CHIJ Katong, when we both got streamed into TA5 (Tangarine 5). We were then in quite different circles, but somehow ended up going to the same tuition class, yes Mrs Chua’s house in Bukit Timah! It would fall on Saturday afternoons, and before heading for the heavy group Science lessons I would meet you at your condo and have our hearty lunches of beehoon with the heavenly chili sauce your granny made so perfectly. Remember how much I ate? Man, I think I must have made quite an impression on your mum! Primary 5 and 6 passed by pretty quickly, and soon, we had our combined birthday celebration at your place by the pool. I gave you a Spice girls CD, and to my amazement and shock, you gave me a Kipling bag, one of the coolest brands when we were kids!
Secondary school went by with us in pretty much different lives, you continuing in KC and I went on to NY. Yet we still kept in old-school contact through our snail mails and I remember always being so happy when I received a letter from you. At that point of time, 13 years ago, email was just getting popular and IRC and ICQ was all the rage. However, we stuck to our penpal traditional bond. I think sometime along then, we did a sleepover once a year, alternating between your place and mine, and I still recall how being kids, we would sleep at 11+pm but set the alarm to wake up for our midnight feast of instant noodles and some other junk food. Somehow I have this image of us putting the food in a red little plastic ship thing – it doesn’t make any sense to me now, but that’s what I always associate with our midnight feasts.
JC came upon us soon after, and once again, we went to different schools, you to TJC and me in HCJC. Proximity wise we were far apart, but we still met up to mug for our exams together, and did the sleepovers as well. Remember crazy Bedok CC where we studied so hard for “A” levels in those small wooden cubicles? Remember also that sometimes Shawn came to join us, and he marked the wooden table with a carving saying “17 more days” as he counted down to the end of the dreadful Physics exam (which coincidentally happened to fall on my birthday)?
Naturally as time passed, it was also time for University. I was busy with SMU and you with Econs in NUS. Yet I think it was also during Uni that we started spending more time hanging out together, meeting at Parkway for beef noodles, and chilling at your house. I always knew you as a studious and hardworking girl, who worked hard for her dreams, so I understood when u so desperately wanted to go to London to do your second degree. And while you didnt exactly end up doing that, you are there now on exchange, and you made your dream come true.
I’ve seen you work hard, question things, and how you’ve always stayed close to the most important values in life. You always make the effort to bring people together, to stay close, and to give little gifts which always lets those around you know how much you care and that we are never far from your thoughts. After returning from exchange in Mannheim, we spent afternoons lazing around in Laguna, driving in your new Mazda 6, and shopping at Parkway (well, of cos you mostly shop online now!). Being here in Buenos Aires now, I miss those times where I would just go over to your place by Tanjong Katong Road and ride a bike with you with the east coast breeze in our hair, and then sitting at Bedok jetty where we would talk about everything possible. I remember the last time we did that, and the golden sunset glow falling on us as we talked into the evening.
I miss that you are just a bus ride away, but of course you are just a skype call away with technology so advanced. I hope you know you are very missed and that I can’t wait to catch up with you in person again when I’m back for CNY!
Te quiero muchisimo.
Hugs,
f.
You live, you learn..
Listening to Alanis Morisette’s famous hit, I realized how true it is.
As I grow older, I learn different things, and I learn to live with them.
Something over the weekend upset me quite alot, despite the fact that it was my birthday.
I realised that with distance, there are some bonds which slowly fizzle out and diminish with the length of time. Some friends disappear through the farness and lack of physical proximity. Others stay constant throughout the universe. Why? I asked myself, trying to find an answer to address and understand the hurt that permeated my thoughts over the last weekend.
I used to think there were a number of friends that I could count on no matter what, that being behind a computer chatting with the person should not be that much different than sitting in front of her. But there was a disappointment that manifested which I realized maybe the lack of nearness created or simply amplified. What differentiated friends who stay close and those who don’t? What makes some so special and always close while others drift aimlessly like a bobbing piece of styrofoam in the sea?
I realized it was the importance of having the same virtues, and values. What separates the former from the latter is that the former has a constant understanding of what is important, what is worth fighting for, and what is not. The latter just lacks the willpower to see the truth and continues doing what is wrong, despite countless advice from all those surrounding. What keeps two friends, or any two people close, is not just similarity of hobbies or overlapping activities, but a keen sense of interest in the other’s life, and also a strong desire to move forward in their own.
It came as a sudden revelation to me, just half an hour ago, and now I feel a little less upset and alot more at peace. Now I understand why some friends, despite the period of time that lapses between each meeting, always manage to maintain the connection, while others, without constant daily update about insignificant events, lose track and interest in your life.
It’s still sad and difficult to accept the fact, but now I understand. You live, you learn..
Snail mail is the sweetest
Yesterday I arrived home, exhausted after a long day of work, and to my absolute surprised, realised I had post from Jinhua! Yes, it was her familiar writing and London address scribbled at the back of the envelope, and immediately I found myself grinning for the first time yesterday. The inside of white envelope was a square card with a sandy heart on the cover, such a sweet gesture, just like her!
Thank you sweetie for ALWAYS remembering my birthday, for never failing to surprise me no matter which country I am in the world, and for always being such a giving person. Thank you my sleepover partner (and fellow midnight-feast khaki) and oldest (in terms of how long we’ve known each other) friend!!
I love the snail mails you send (and I may rightly say I have accumulated quite a pile of them over the years). You’re the best!!
Oh, how November always makes me smile
What a beautiful month, a month where happy memories are always made, and when good news always come.
Suzy and Fran will be welcoming Sara Grace into their little family, anytime from now till next Tuesday, and looking at her baby shower photos yesterday, it was quite impossible to believe that in the last 6 months that I have not seen her, the little ball that was growing in her belly will now become a little girl, and yes, now that her beautiful name is revealed, I feel like she’s already here 
November two years ago was when Suzy first gathered all of us to have dinner at Sushi Tei to “announce some news”….and when she broke the news of Fran’s proposal to her in the Maldives, all of us were almost dying from happiness and envy! Knowing their love story from day one… it is amazing to know that she has made it through all the milestones, marriage, and now a little baby girl.
The month of November was when they released the news that Obama would be the first black president, that he was the bringer of change to an America ridden with debt. Not too sure how that news would have been reacted to had it been released again this year, but i remember listening to his speech that Feyi sent me, and being so touched by his words and expectant of change to the largest economy in the world.
Three years ago in November was also when Juan and I first got together, in Mannheim, Germany, and here I am now, writing from my desk in Buenos Aires. Never even knew where Argentina was on the map before I met him, and now life has changed completely. Both our birthdays fall in this month, such a coincidence.
What a lovely month to be in..Oh how I love November.
Home, on the other side of the world..
No matter how much I enjoy being overseas, in a different environment, meeting a thousand different people, home is still always close to my heart. Although sometimes I dont seem to show it, and I don’t call home so often, I think about home almost everyday.
I miss coming home to my own room, with the tall high wooden roof, and the swaying palm trees towering outside my balcony. I miss the smell of fresh sheets and the flower-patterned bedspread and comforter, that I wrap around myself whenver the aircon gets too cold. I miss the large spacious cupboard I had to put all my overflowing clothes (that I can’t seem to stop collecting) and I miss the personal room space I had all to myself.
I miss the first floor of my house, and the outdoor seats in the patio, where I would sit and eat my lunch before browsing through the newspapers or a novel before dozing off in the warm afternoon breeze, the sounds of the fountain a background lullaby. I miss how I would smell the fresh garden scents after a shower of rain, bringing my sense of smell to a heightened ascent.
I miss having my family close by, even if we did not do many things together. Just knowing Valerie is on the same floor and that Ron and my parents are downstairs is such a nice feeling, espeically now that they are 30 hours by plane away. I miss little things like driving Ron to his Tengah Air Base, althougth I would complain the entire journey there, but it was still fun, and the memories of us trying to figure out how to stop the back wiper from workng is just as hilarious today as it ever was.
Then I also yearn for things as insignificant as food. Things I never thought I would miss as much as I do now, such as chilli, the peanuts that go with the chilli in those fancy Chinese restaurants like Tung Lok, and the steamed fish, and chilli crab, and cereal covered prawns, and all kinds of chinese herbal soups. The thought of hawker dishes like black and white carrot cake, chicken rice, fried kway teow makes me salivate, and it is difficult knowing I have to wait a few months before I can eat them again. I miss the random walks to Siglap, heading to Pasta Fresca or Megumi with Ron and Val, and then starbucks at some odd hour of the night. I miss Chinese New Year and its goodies, and the festivities that come along as well.
I miss chilling out with my friends and cousins, and aunties, going to Sunday service with them, and then feasting at Taka’s Crystal Jade Palace with dim sum in abundance. I miss riding the bike in East Coast, smelling the salty sea breeze blowing in my hair as I marvel at the horizon and see the night lights come alive. I miss the long chats with Jinhua and Syl, in their mazda 6s, one black and one white. I miss those long telephone calls with them, in the middle of the night, knowing they are near.
I miss home, and the things taht makes Singapore home. The people most importantly, and I can’t wait to see them again.
The little things that make me happy (2)
1. Listening to Pheonix on grooveshark to relax after a busy morning of cramming reports into my head
2. Knowing that Spring is here and the sun shines a minute more each day
3. Waiting for the long weekend and looking forward to taking a break in Rosario, the first holiday since I started work again
4. Reading a mail from my friend asking me to be her bridesmaid, and even though I know I most probably can’t, it still made me smile
5. The Korean instant noodles waiting in the bag SY gave me, SOS help whenever I miss Asian food and want to be reminded of home sweet home
6. Receiving a lovely SMS from my aunt telling me she misses me, and hopes things are well
7. Biking down Libertador Avenue all the way to Retiro, seeing Buenos Aires in a different way
8. Chatting on skype with my best friends in the world, no matter how far away they are
9. Discount shopping, which gives me greater purchasing power
10. Picking up the phone to call my family, or a friend, and breaking into a smile when I hear their familiar voices and translated smiles
11. Thinking about CNY back home, eating homemade pineapple tarts brought by my mum
12. Cooking Chinese food– yes, it is actually therapeutic, and the smell of chicken rice steaming in the rick cooker almost makes me believe I am back in Singapore
13. Spanish classes with Veronica, one of the nicest and sincerest Argentines I have met since arriving 6 months ago
14. Arriving at work and having my morning chat with colleagues, before starting a relatively peaceful day
15. Reading reports on Singapore and feeling I know much more about my homeland now than ever before
16. Discussing holiday plans, and the arrival of a cousin’s birth
17. Writing, about anything in particular. It is my theraphy.
So many little things that make me happy. Life is good : )
Friendship…. you find it in the weirdest corners
A long time ago, I used to think that as you grow older, and graduate from student to working adult, your pool of friends can only start to diminish, until is turns from a large ripple into a almost invisible drop of water.
But I realized that friendship is an incredibly amazing phenomenon – you find it when you least expect it; and you never know with whom you’re going to develop a friendship that defies time, distance and cultural differences. I’m a pretty sociable person, but I don’t get out and party too much – in order words, I make friends when doing the most normal things (like attending Spanish classes, at work, or simply by the rare opportunity of chance).
I’ve lived a pretty international life in the last 3 years, and following that lifestyle of travelling because of work, vacation and simply school, I’ve met people who inspire, have passion for things that you might never have imagined, and people who are really just rare jewels of kindness, goodness and love. In SCB, when we travelled to Chennai, India, for our 3-week long rotation, I got to know Feyi really well, despite her being my first African friend from Nigeria; despite the fact that I used to think blacks look fierce and a little too aggressive for my liking; and despite the fact that we rarely kept in touch before that. The last time I saw her was almost a year ago, but the beautiful character that she has made me always remember the strength of a person who had the courage to admit her mistakes and accept that she had done wrong; that she dared to ask for forgiveness, and know what was important to her. I admire her motivation and faith in wanting to be Nigeria’s next finance minister – an extremely ambitious ideal for any person just starting out. I appreciated her absolutely honest sincerity that made me slightly startled at the raw intensity of it all. But it was true, that in India, a place which left so many memories and invoked so many emotions, I found a true friend.
At work in SCB, back home in Singapore, I also made friends over time, with random people – colleagues on the floor, the secretaries and generally anyone who made the effort to chat for those few more minutes outside of work. There are some people that I really appreciate for making the first few months in a completely new office so much easier, and because of that, I am always grateful. From them I learnt the most important rules to stick by in the game of office politics, but also that work mates can be fun to hang out with; that it was crucial in whom you place your trust and confidence, because there were so many others who are ready to backstab you the minute they require to.
Then I came to Argentina and lo and behold, never did I expect to see another Singaporean so soon after leaving my homeland! Jace was here for the first month I was here – working of course, but we met up a couple of times and still keep in contact once in a while. And then SY, who I met because of our mutual friend – who has interesting ideas and a pretty crazy life – who I probably would not have met if we both remained in Singapore – and who constantly amazes me! She defies many social norms and expectations of Singapore lawyers, and it is refreshing while also quite hard to believe.
But of course, the friends that you’ve had since a thousand years ago and still keep in close contact are a rarity that always make me smile. I remember going for Mrs Chua’s tuition classes on Saturdays when I was in primary school; but first going to JH’s house for a yummilicious bee hoon lunch with her granny’s famous chilli. It was from those routine saturdays that we developed our friendship, which later led to yearly sleepovers (where we had to set the alarm at 12 am to have our midnight feast), then pen pal letters as we changed schools, but over time and difference in schools, we always stayed close, even though, I in Argentina, and she in Singapore, but going to London for her law exchange in just 2 days!
And Syl, who really helped me through a thousand things – crying in the middle of the night, driving over to see if I was ok, dinner at Pasta Fresca, shopping on random occasions, late night chats on the phone, and sleepovers. SMU was largely made up of the girls – and syl was one of those that really defined SMU life. Then there is Suzy, who by chance I met at Sports Camp in Uni year one, but only 2 years later got to know her better after our internship at Bloomberg. We don’t talk so often but when we do it’s always such a wonderful thing – and I can’t wait to see her little girl when she arrives! And Joyceee, who is going to get married next year – it’s amazing to see their lives bloom like that; some people are extraordinary and you know it’s such an honour to be part of their evolution.
There are also so many more that I have yet to write about, but it doesn’t mean their friendship isn’t worth mentioning. There are too many who have touched and impacted my lives, in littles ways and then big ones too. But most importantly I know at last that my hypothesis is no longer valid.
Your circle of friends will only get wider and wider – but that also depends on you.
Her Exchange Adventure!
So happy and proud of Jinhua – one of my best friends in the world since i was a kid – who’s going to King’s College in London to do her law exchange! You’re going to have the best time of Uni life there I SWEAR!!
Love you babe!!! Enjoy enjoy enjoy!
