Reversing the Lost Generation

Most people today have their lives defined in the following manner, and they live the mantra below –

I am part of a lost generation
and I refuse to believe that
I can change the world
I realize this may be a shock but
“Happiness comes from within.”
is a lie, and
“Money will make me happy.”
So in 30 years I will tell my children
they are not the most important thing in my life
My employer will know that
I have my priorities straight because
work
is more important than
family
I tell you this
Once upon a time
Families stayed together
but this will not be true in my era
This is a quick fix society
Experts tell me
30 years from now, I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce
I do not concede that
I will live in a country of my own making
In the future
Environmental destruction will be the norm
No longer can it be said that
My peers and I care about this earth
It will be evident that
My generation is apathetic and lethargic
It is foolish to presume that
There is hope.

And all of this will come true unless we choose to reverse it .

Now, if we read the poem the other way around, it will be like this:

There is hope .
It is foolish to presume that
My generation is apathetic and lethargic.
It will be evident that
My peers and I care about this earth
No longer can it be said that
Environmental destruction will be the norm
In the future
I will live in a country of my own making
I do not concede that
30 years from now, I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce
Experts tell me
This is a quick fix society
but this will not be true in my era
Families stayed together
Once upon a time
I tell you this
family
is more important than
work
I have my priorities straight because
My employer will know that
they are not the most important things in my life
So in 30 years I will tell my children
“Money will make me happy.”
is a lie, and
“Happiness comes from within.”
I realize this may be a shock but
I can change the world
and I refuse to believe that
I am part of a lost generation.

Great minds often face strong opposition from weak minds

Stole this quote off my cousin Jon’s profile page. He’s definitely one of those great minds, who undoubtedly will go extremely far, burning boundaries and marking spaces where no other has before set limits.

These are the people who inspire, who remind us of what is worth pondering about rather than wasting precious ticking minutes on transitionary problems. These are the type of humans I have always wanted to be associated with, not those whose minds are filled solely with the problems of today, and cannot see with their hearts because they have built a fortress of selfish ambition and inward-lookingness around it.

I realized that for every thing, there is a solution, and what seems impossible today, may just be commonplace tomorrow, as technological evolution has proven so blatantly. The way we live our lives are dependent mainly on our minds and how we think, where we set the lines and tell ourselves this is possible, this is not. But beyond merely what we tell ourselves, the most fundamental reason why some surpass and others fall behind, is what we allow ourselves to think. The Mind is such a powerful tool to bring you to ambition, love, happiness or pain, sorrow and faithlessness.

This is how our world has continually progressed, how each generation outshines the other, and stuns their ancestors. This is the key to a life well-fulfilled. This is what I’m trying to do. This will be my mindset.

Make it yours as well.

Letter to JMC

Hola mi quierido JM!

I haven’t written a letter to you in such a long time, and I figure that now is the perfect opportunity to write to you, given the 30-letter challenge and the fact that your birthday and mine just passed, marking 3 years since we got together in Mannheim!

Thinking back on the past three years (wow! 3 whole years, that’s almost or maybe more than 1000 days!), I guess we can say we’ve been through quite a lot together. From meeting you as my housemate in Germany as we both were on exchange in Uni Mannheim, to complaining to F about your and Fer cooking too much chicken and how the entire apartment would fill up with the aroma of chicken, perfect if you’re having dinner but not so if you’re in pyjamas ready to hit the bed! I remember the first time F told me that there were 2 Argentines in our VG, I wondered to myself what on earth Argentines look like. (Sorry I had no idea then, I just knew Argentina was very very far away).

Then I remember bumping into you in the kitchen when you would be preparing some breakfast of cereal and milk (or maybe something else with orange juice, or dulce de leche) and we would just chat, not too long, maybe just 5 minutes, but it always felt like we connected in a way. The next memory I have of you is the queue for Oktoberfest tickets, and how I arrived with Crystal, Jingying and some others at 6+am, to find you and Fer camped out right at the front of the queue. Someone even took a photo of you both sleeping on the ground in the cold winter morning. It was hilarious – and I thought to myself – “Gawd! these are my housemates!!” Honestly I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.

Then one day in the kitchen – I can’t remember who started the conversation – but we started talking about travel plans, and I mentioned that I was headed to Barcelona the following week, and you said “So am I!” Turned out that we were both flying on the same airlines, just one day apart. The last day in Barcelona, we flew back on the same plane, and bumped into each other with our respective group of friends just outside a shopping mall. I also remember how you told me you were amazed I didnt know how to greet people with kisses, and how I would only hug instead of making the sound of a kiss in the air. These encounters seem a little silly but somehow they always remind me of Mannheim and how we first met.

We got together sometime between your birthday and mine, and while it was crazy, knowing that I would probably not see you after we both went back to our home countries when the semester ended, I somehow thought to myself that I had to give us a chance. So during that december month of 2007, we travelled, we went to Heidelberg, Dresden and Paris, and we grew much closer. I started realizing the person you were – your depth and your understanding of life that made you want to take chances for something that was worth it because you understood the shortness of life and how important it was to appreciate and grab opportunies presented to us.

The last few days of December (particularly prior to our New Years’ trip to Paris) were unbearably tough. As the ticking clock started sounding louder to the end of the year and to the close of exchange, I felt my heart breaking as I realized it might be very possible that I may not ever see you again. I went to Paris heavy hearted, while at the same time also feeling so lucky to be able to spend New Year’s with you, in the city whose name is synonymous with “romance”. We parted in that horrible bus station in Paris, and I was crying buckets, as you waved goodbye from outside the coach, hands in your ski jacket.

Arriving back in SG, I read your emails from different parts of Europe, and we would rush to schedule timings to skype, because it felt so empty without talking to each other. When you told me you thought it was worth it to try to continue with a long-distance relationship, I was so happy I almost cried. That April of 2008, I took my flight flight to South America, Argentina, where I would spend the next two months as a graudation trip. I enjoyed myself so much, with your family and friends, that when it was time to leave, I felt so upset, and wished I could stay for another 2 more months.

Back home, I started work with SCB when my IG program started. During the last 2 years since then, we both travelled to and fro Singapore and Buenos Aires, but finally decided at the end of last year that we should both stay in the same country, we agreed in the end I would go over.

This year, two years after the first April that I arrived in Buenos Aires, I took the Malaysian Airlines flight via KL, Cape Town and Johannesburg, and stepped foot here, where I’ve been for the last 7 months.

Thank you for your love, patience, understanding and care every single day, even on days that you are busy, and when things may not be going so well for you. Thank you for surprising me with a rose on the first day of Spring, for lying to me that you were going to do something else when you were actually preparing breakfast for me, and thank you for always thinking about how I would feel.

Te amo, y beso grande,
Tu Cuquito.

Rosewithoutthorns – Happy 4 years old!

It’s been 4 years since I started this site, now a haven for me to pen my thoughts and explore my sentiments. Blogging, as empty as it had seemed when it first became a habit, is now a theraphy, and also a record of my life and personal growth.

Once in a while I get nostalgic, and as the business and noise of life crams out the space to think quietly, I look back into my journal of thoughts, random words, beautiful poems, and deep prose that I wrote before. Sometimes I amaze myself, because reading previous entries from years ago reminds me of the person I was before becoming another, and then another. Although I’ve always essentially been the same person, there are particular phases in life that can be recorded and segregated, and even more clearly now that there are dated posts describing the bare details of my life.

I make it a habit not to write down too many intimate details that the Internet and its ingeneous search engines like Google and Yahoo like to freely and randomly distribute to its users. I tend to type in a half-code that only those in the situation and discerning enough will be able to understand, if they even have access to this site. Still, having my thoughts coded, I remember exactly what I felt when I was writing them as I read the posts line by line and drink in the words bit for bit.

In a way, this blog is a pretty strong definition of my life, my habits, my ideas and my dreams. Words may not express everything I feel, but I try to put them in black and white the things that I experience and treasure. Writing has always been a cure for the insanity of life, for the emptiness of repetition, and for the lack of a deeper world. It has always allowed me to truly reflect and ponder, almost the only time when I search inside myself and display my heartbeat without being obliged to demonstrate some other.

Every few months I take a peak back and review my life written on a website by me, about me. Everytime, I realize the importance and significance it has for me. What a journey, and it will continue. Happy 4 yrs!

More visitors in town…soon!

My mum called last night, on my phone… and lo and behold, it was not just the regular “How are you?” call, but more like “Aunty & Uncle will be in BA next month, tell me if there are any things you want them to bring over for you!”

This reminded me of the last time i prepared of list of items for my mum to bring over for me when my parents and siblings visited at end July. Now that I look back, its been almost 4 months since they left (also the same amount of time since I started working here). Amazing how the year does a little tumble and carries you in its cartwheel and before you get over the giddiness and random rollabouts, you reached the end of the period you kept thinking had just begun.

My aunt and uncle are going to be here with a tour group covering Brazil, Argentina maybe some other parts of Latin America. And this week and next, Jace will be here in Buenos for her holiday, as well as to attend her good friends’ wedding party. Sin yee’s friend is also in town taking a break from work… and lo and behold, suddenly you think it might make some sense for the Singapore Ministry of Foreign Affairs to establish an embassy here! (And of cos for the Argentines to do the same in Singapore! This will save people the trouble of having to travel all the way to Jakarta to get a visa done!)

Am excited about their visits, as I always am about any other visitors. And with the Christmas festive season coming round the corner… I am dreaming of Christmas trees with beautiful decorations and brilliant stars, with the bottom of the trees crammed with quaint little presents.

I can’t wait! I love the end of the year

What a difference a few months make

Almost one month since my last one-liner post. Many things have happened and in this hiatus of not penning down my thoughts, feelings and experiences, I have seen some very wonderful things and some changes in my life.

As mentioned, my family came to visit a couple of weeks ago. They were here just a short 2 weeks, but during this time, we had a family vacation all together after almost 5 years; they saw latin america, and more specifically Argentina, for the first time, and they loved it; we had fights and arguments, but also much laughter and more importantly fun together as a family that cares and truly loves each other. It was impossible to believe how fast the 13 days flew by and in a rare glimpse of time, they teleported back to hot, sunny, flooding Singapore.

During the last one month, I also started working here in Argentina. I now work in a small firm of stock analysts, (thankfully I work in English) and everyday I’m learning more and more. And each day I realise how much more I have to learn. But the miracle is that my colleagues are amazingly helpful and nice; at least I haven’t seen the politics that I was so well-prepared for in my former bank; at least I have a boss who is upfront and usually in a good mood; at least I don’t wonder all the time if my boss really is a hypocrite at heart; and they even pay for lunches – everyday! Yes, that also means you eat in and work at your desk literally from 9am-6pm; the only exercise that I get nowadays is the back and fro 100m walk from the subway station to my office.

I realised that my previous experience in SCB has shaped alot of the ways I do things; the way I treat my colleagues, the secretary, my boss, and also the way I am more keen on working hard at improving what I currently do. I don’t dread the late hours or coming in the earliest anymore; I don’t even mind eating at my desk during lunch when I used to complain when I even had to do it at all; and I don’t even mind that my salary has been greatly reduced because of the change in currency; which doesn’t keep up with inflation in a land of high living costs.

4 months ago, I quit my former job and bought my ticket to go halfway round the world, no job in store, income-less and friendless in this part of the world (ok, I did know J’s family and alot of his friends, but still it’s different when you actually have your own friends). I left my family and friends in southeast Asia and started a completely different phase of life. I found out that after a period of separation, there are some friends who no longer keep in touch; others only because of the easy facility of facebook, and then those others, the jems who make it a point to connect with you no matter what, to remember you when they buy something, just because they had you in mind. There were days I felt lonely, and suffered from a lack of personal space, yet lacked the confidence and security that Singapore offered to be able to venture out alone. Yet with necessity and time, I manouveured my way around Buenos Aires, brushed up my Spanish and even attained a level that allowed me to be my family’s tourguide around the city, without any external help. Now I’m working again, after a break of a couple of months, and I’m really enjoying it.

8 months ago, at the start of this year, I greeted 1st January 2010 with fireworks in Hong Kong, together with Val and Aunty Adeline’s family. It was a wonderful beginning stuffing ourselves with yummy cantonese dim sum and heavenly desserts. I was still floatingly rotating on my International Graduate program, and had no idea what I wanted to do for a living. Then I joined the Global Research desk, where I had a thoroughly enjoyable 2 months working with a team of people that I honestly respected and admired. I realized that work could actually be fulfilling. And that when I enjoyed my work, my bosses appreciated the output and insight I contributed. I had to some pretty tough decisions to make then, but I made them and they served me very well. I keep in touch with ex-colleagues from SCB and when they talk to me about work – telling me they can’t wait to leave and that so many of those that I started out with have already left – I think to myself, thank God I made the right choice and left; and that I didnt waste my last 4 months complaining about a situation I had the power to change. I still remember thinking that I had no idea what 2010 would bring me, and lo and behold, it is already the middle of August.

What a difference a short span of time makes, and what a difference honestly, when you dare to make the boldest and bravest decisions, because you never really know how much you gain unless you take the first step forward and try it. I’m sooo glad I did!

Winter-season job hunting!

After more than 1.5 months here, I started to kick myself in the butt and decided to be a bit more motivated in searching for a job and getting the hang of checking job search sites at least once every few days. Now, having registered an account with a couple of job search sites, I find it a lot easier to apply for a variety of different jobs without having to go to individual company websites and work through the entire application process for just one position.

Have seriously begun to be a bit stressed and worried about finding a job that I want and that also wants me, so now I am making use of every single contact and email address that comes remotely my way, in a bid to cast my net a little wider and apply the properties of the law of large sample. Hopefully by sheer probability from casting my line in a thousand directions to a million fishes, I will manage to catch a few among which I can choose something to my liking and desire.

Being a foreignor in Argentina, I have to adjust my mindset to understand that alot of interviews that I will be called up for will be conducted only in Spanish; if any part of the interview is to be conducted in English, it will only be periphery, unless it is the core requirement and pre-requisite of the job. After almost 2 months here, I can say that I have begun to have a rough grasp of the language, but still the sheer velocity with which Argentines speak their mother tongue astounds me and sometimes leaves me biting the dust in violent shock. I am trying to get the hang of the accents, the way they stress their “r”s in all the words, and how some people speak without ever opening their mouths properly, a manner of speaking that irks me no end. I speak relatively clearly, both in English and Spanish, and so when a native Spanish speaker doesn’t do me the favour of at least articulating his words clearly, I get more than a tad frustrated. Well, at least I’ve mastered to ability to tell them to please slow down “más despacio, por favor!”

Having not worn formal office clothes for the last 2 months, since I left the Bank on 9th April, I tried on some of my clothes and felt relieved to know that at least my pants still fit quite nicely; thank goodness a diet of meat meat and more meat doesn’t add so much to my butt size, and I guess I have to say that the last three weeks of gym membership has paid off relatively well. I feel fitter, and also indulge myself in eating more (which according to J, is probably the real reason why I go to the gym; not to lose weight, but to maintain when I eat so much!). Back to office clothes, I tried on my new Zara blazer that I got just before quitting in Singapore, and yay, at least I know I’m ready for an interview, together with my tailored white shirt by Supreme Tailor with my purple glass cufflinks. Now I need to get skin-coloured stockings to match my calf-leather Aldo shoes – black just won’t do. Darn, with winter coming, I need so many other types of formal clothes! Need to spend more money even before starting to earn any! Not very sensible for a person with a finance & economics background! Not sure if a blazer would be overly formal, but like I said in a presentation that I conducted before – “Dress to impress”. If you want the role, you need to dress like you deserve it.

Well, of course looking the part is just a portion of the overall package – what’s most important is that I know what to say during the interview, that I can perform well in a group setting, despite my language limitations. Back to reading about the banking industry and the company! Freezing my toes off in today’s weather, but finally! The hunt is on….. and I am going to focus on the prey! Tata!

Depto searching

Last weekend and this week so far has been spent mainly on searching for an apartment (or “departamentos” in Spanish, and “depto” for short). House shopping as you may call it; a place to live, something between 40-50 square metres of space, preferably in a new tower (or condominium if you like) with ammenities and something within the budget.

Now that I’ve seen a couple of places, I’m starting to have an idea of what specific things to look out for and how not to be just simply impressed by the fact that an apartment has a nice big balcony – since perhaps a 12 square metres balcony would take up alot of precious space in a 53 sqaure metres apartment. There are many factors involved in searching for an apartment; first of all, the location, somewhere accessible near the Subte station and with buses that take you downtown, not just around the neighbourhood. It must also be located in a relatively safe neighbourhood, not one which is well-known for gangsters, robberies and other crimes. Then, whether you like it old or new – some prefer the older buildings because the apartments come with alot more space for a lot less money. Others would rather live in a smaller one-room apartment but have the convenience of a common room, a gym, and a swimming pool right at your doorstep.

Next, you have to pay attention to the structure of the house – Yes, square metres count but do is the space utilized efficiently? Is the overall shape of the apartment a square, a rectangle, or U-shaped? Where is the kitchen located? Is it situated near a door or window that will allow easy ventilation? Is the kitchen long or compressed in one corder? How many places are there for you to cook? Is there a door or wall separating the kitchen from the living room and most importantly from the bedroom? Remember that in a small apartment, the smells from your tiny kitchen can well up in the whole house and make it quite unpleasant especially if your bedroom has no division. What about the essential electrical appliances – is the refridgerator and the over provided? Is there a space for the washing machine in the house? Or do you have to replace the bidet for the washing machine?

How about the living room? Where is the window at, if there is any at all? How do the windows work – can they be opened sideways as well as at the top to allow ventilation during winter? Where the blank wall where a television can be mounted? How should the sofa be put? What about the dining table as well? Is there a balcony for you to sit at and sip some wine, or just to sit outside and get some fresh air and sun, and a place to hang your clothes? What material is the floor made of – is it wood or just plastic made to resemble wood? Is the price of the floor already included in the total price of the apartment?

What about security – if it’s an older building, does it have a porter for security? Whether it is old or new, how is the maintenance of the place upkept? How much are the monthly expenses to maintain the building? Is it calculated by a certain amount per square metre? What about the money you need to pay for a parking lot? Also, how does the apartment make you feel? Do you feel a sense of peace and quietness when you enter the building? Is it on a relatively safe and calm street, not right next to a neighbourhood secondary school where you have to hear kids screaming and shouting the whole day? Does it feel open and free, or small and cosy but a little suffocating? Is the hallway brightly lit? Is the corridor narrow with all the neighbours having to squeeze together while waiting at the lift lobby?

So many things to take into consideration – but also quite fun, because ultimately the apartment has to be a place you want to come home to – as with any home. Gonna be on the hunt for quite a while! Updates to come when there are any!

Espanol in progress!

Called the director of a Spanish school whose professor I learnt with when I was here 2 years ago, and more of less have arranged to start spanish classes next week. Daily lessons of 2 hours each day from Monday to Friday.. Apparently I am at level Advanced C1 – sounds pretty impressive eh… I hope I learn much faster with these intensive daily lessons.

Its the second week here and ….. its really awesome so far. Juan’s family is so wonderful; especially his mum who knows I must be bored staying at home the whole day she invites me out to tea, and shopping with her and offers so willingly to show me around the city. But after being so used to waking up at 6.40am for work all the way till the evening, not having anything to do is fine and fun for the first one or two weeks, then it starts to feel like I’m not productive, and at times this feeling irks me.

So, now that I’m about to start Spanish classes, at least I feel more of a sense of purpose. One other reason why spanish classes excite me is also because I get to meet new people – other foreignors like me who are also grappling with expressing with this new language, which though gets easier each day, is still a huge limitation for me to express what I feel and want to say.

But Yay! Soon things will be different. At least, I will be able to get around more easily and feel like I’m really living here, and not just as a tourist anymore! : ) Now i will attempt to cook scrambled eggs (or eggs of some sort – I am quite a egg-fanatic) for breakfast. Yum yum yum!! Buen appetito!

Sunbeams and hailstones

Hola!

Arrived around 4 pm Buenos Aires time yesterday, greeted by extremely welcoming sunshine and a nice warm temperature of about 26 degrees, not too different from the first time I visited. But as the afternoon progressed into evening, the sunshine gave way to rain accompanied by hailstones as large as eggs. Many cars had their back screens damaged from the rocks of ice pouring down from the sky – a phenomenon I witnessed for the first time in my life. I didnt believe it was hailstones until Juan picked up a piece of ice and put it in my hands – seeing really is believing.

This morning news reports of heavy fog and queues of cars waiting to be repaired from their war with the sudden hailstones reminded me of the happenings of the night before. But looking out of the window now, 24 hours after I arrived in the land of tango, it’s hard to believe it even drizzled, much less rained with such a furious tenacity. Now, the sky is blue dotted with little cotton pads of clouds, the sun is out again, highlighting the pretty green in the leaves outside the balcony, and the botanic gardens is full of life again. It is autumn and there are another 2 months before I will experience winter, not one of my favourite seasons in the world.

But so far, one day and it’s all good. I’m happy here. Packed 52 kg of checked in luggage and another 5 kg of hand carry – but I still forgot to bring certain things – like my USB cable to upload photos from my camera. Getting my mum to snail mail it over which should take 2 weeks the most, but other than that, I think I have all that I need right now..!

No photos till I receive the cable i guess. But in the meanwhile, I’ll continue to post from here. Buen dia!