What a difference a few months make

Almost one month since my last one-liner post. Many things have happened and in this hiatus of not penning down my thoughts, feelings and experiences, I have seen some very wonderful things and some changes in my life.

As mentioned, my family came to visit a couple of weeks ago. They were here just a short 2 weeks, but during this time, we had a family vacation all together after almost 5 years; they saw latin america, and more specifically Argentina, for the first time, and they loved it; we had fights and arguments, but also much laughter and more importantly fun together as a family that cares and truly loves each other. It was impossible to believe how fast the 13 days flew by and in a rare glimpse of time, they teleported back to hot, sunny, flooding Singapore.

During the last one month, I also started working here in Argentina. I now work in a small firm of stock analysts, (thankfully I work in English) and everyday I’m learning more and more. And each day I realise how much more I have to learn. But the miracle is that my colleagues are amazingly helpful and nice; at least I haven’t seen the politics that I was so well-prepared for in my former bank; at least I have a boss who is upfront and usually in a good mood; at least I don’t wonder all the time if my boss really is a hypocrite at heart; and they even pay for lunches – everyday! Yes, that also means you eat in and work at your desk literally from 9am-6pm; the only exercise that I get nowadays is the back and fro 100m walk from the subway station to my office.

I realised that my previous experience in SCB has shaped alot of the ways I do things; the way I treat my colleagues, the secretary, my boss, and also the way I am more keen on working hard at improving what I currently do. I don’t dread the late hours or coming in the earliest anymore; I don’t even mind eating at my desk during lunch when I used to complain when I even had to do it at all; and I don’t even mind that my salary has been greatly reduced because of the change in currency; which doesn’t keep up with inflation in a land of high living costs.

4 months ago, I quit my former job and bought my ticket to go halfway round the world, no job in store, income-less and friendless in this part of the world (ok, I did know J’s family and alot of his friends, but still it’s different when you actually have your own friends). I left my family and friends in southeast Asia and started a completely different phase of life. I found out that after a period of separation, there are some friends who no longer keep in touch; others only because of the easy facility of facebook, and then those others, the jems who make it a point to connect with you no matter what, to remember you when they buy something, just because they had you in mind. There were days I felt lonely, and suffered from a lack of personal space, yet lacked the confidence and security that Singapore offered to be able to venture out alone. Yet with necessity and time, I manouveured my way around Buenos Aires, brushed up my Spanish and even attained a level that allowed me to be my family’s tourguide around the city, without any external help. Now I’m working again, after a break of a couple of months, and I’m really enjoying it.

8 months ago, at the start of this year, I greeted 1st January 2010 with fireworks in Hong Kong, together with Val and Aunty Adeline’s family. It was a wonderful beginning stuffing ourselves with yummy cantonese dim sum and heavenly desserts. I was still floatingly rotating on my International Graduate program, and had no idea what I wanted to do for a living. Then I joined the Global Research desk, where I had a thoroughly enjoyable 2 months working with a team of people that I honestly respected and admired. I realized that work could actually be fulfilling. And that when I enjoyed my work, my bosses appreciated the output and insight I contributed. I had to some pretty tough decisions to make then, but I made them and they served me very well. I keep in touch with ex-colleagues from SCB and when they talk to me about work – telling me they can’t wait to leave and that so many of those that I started out with have already left – I think to myself, thank God I made the right choice and left; and that I didnt waste my last 4 months complaining about a situation I had the power to change. I still remember thinking that I had no idea what 2010 would bring me, and lo and behold, it is already the middle of August.

What a difference a short span of time makes, and what a difference honestly, when you dare to make the boldest and bravest decisions, because you never really know how much you gain unless you take the first step forward and try it. I’m sooo glad I did!

Winter-season job hunting!

After more than 1.5 months here, I started to kick myself in the butt and decided to be a bit more motivated in searching for a job and getting the hang of checking job search sites at least once every few days. Now, having registered an account with a couple of job search sites, I find it a lot easier to apply for a variety of different jobs without having to go to individual company websites and work through the entire application process for just one position.

Have seriously begun to be a bit stressed and worried about finding a job that I want and that also wants me, so now I am making use of every single contact and email address that comes remotely my way, in a bid to cast my net a little wider and apply the properties of the law of large sample. Hopefully by sheer probability from casting my line in a thousand directions to a million fishes, I will manage to catch a few among which I can choose something to my liking and desire.

Being a foreignor in Argentina, I have to adjust my mindset to understand that alot of interviews that I will be called up for will be conducted only in Spanish; if any part of the interview is to be conducted in English, it will only be periphery, unless it is the core requirement and pre-requisite of the job. After almost 2 months here, I can say that I have begun to have a rough grasp of the language, but still the sheer velocity with which Argentines speak their mother tongue astounds me and sometimes leaves me biting the dust in violent shock. I am trying to get the hang of the accents, the way they stress their “r”s in all the words, and how some people speak without ever opening their mouths properly, a manner of speaking that irks me no end. I speak relatively clearly, both in English and Spanish, and so when a native Spanish speaker doesn’t do me the favour of at least articulating his words clearly, I get more than a tad frustrated. Well, at least I’ve mastered to ability to tell them to please slow down “más despacio, por favor!”

Having not worn formal office clothes for the last 2 months, since I left the Bank on 9th April, I tried on some of my clothes and felt relieved to know that at least my pants still fit quite nicely; thank goodness a diet of meat meat and more meat doesn’t add so much to my butt size, and I guess I have to say that the last three weeks of gym membership has paid off relatively well. I feel fitter, and also indulge myself in eating more (which according to J, is probably the real reason why I go to the gym; not to lose weight, but to maintain when I eat so much!). Back to office clothes, I tried on my new Zara blazer that I got just before quitting in Singapore, and yay, at least I know I’m ready for an interview, together with my tailored white shirt by Supreme Tailor with my purple glass cufflinks. Now I need to get skin-coloured stockings to match my calf-leather Aldo shoes – black just won’t do. Darn, with winter coming, I need so many other types of formal clothes! Need to spend more money even before starting to earn any! Not very sensible for a person with a finance & economics background! Not sure if a blazer would be overly formal, but like I said in a presentation that I conducted before – “Dress to impress”. If you want the role, you need to dress like you deserve it.

Well, of course looking the part is just a portion of the overall package – what’s most important is that I know what to say during the interview, that I can perform well in a group setting, despite my language limitations. Back to reading about the banking industry and the company! Freezing my toes off in today’s weather, but finally! The hunt is on….. and I am going to focus on the prey! Tata!

And the French work 35-hour weeks?

After working for 30 hours straight without sleep, Juan arrived this afternoon, having been given the rest of the day off. First time he was back on a weekday for lunch; first time I could see him when the daylight was still shining. So despite a whole day of not seeing him, at least I can see him now : )

So he worked 30 hours in a day; and somewhere in the European continent called France, the people work only 35 hours per week? Tell me, where is the fairness of all this?

The big move;

In preparing for the big move…. I was surfing my company’s HR website and found some info on relocation. It brings back memories of preparing for exchange 3 years ago. Here’s some useful tips from the website for anyone that will be relocating:

Managing the Emotional Transition or Culture Shock

People who go on international assignments will generally experience a phenomenon called “culture shock.” While not everyone experiences it to the same degree, everyone does experience some sort of adjustment challenge when moving from a culture that you understand and are comfortable with to another that is new and different. People go through a generally predictable cycle of emotional ups-and-downs before finally getting comfortable with their new environment.

The following is the typical cycle. Be prepared for it, understand it’s almost inevitable, and focus on some of the recommended approaches discussed here. To help you understand the phenomenon of culture shock, imagine that you’ll be living in an environment where even the simplest things, such as shopping, going to work, and visiting friends, is different from what you’ve been accustomed to all your life. Things that you’ve done instinctively, you now have to think about. And, you often find yourself not knowing exactly how to manage even a very simple situation. While these changes may not have troubled you on previous business trips or vacation, living with it on a daily basis is bound to have a wearing effect.

There are typically four stages in this adjustment cycle. While you may not experience all of them, it’s helpful to know what to anticipate.

The 4 stages are:

Preparation:
This is a time of mixed emotions. Generally, this is a time of great anticipation that is characterized by increased productivity and a general sense of euphoria and excitement. It is also a busy time with all kinds of details to accomplish and a great deal of stress. As part of the preparation, be sure to involve each family member and understand that they may have different feelings about the move. Don’t sugar-coat what the experience might be like; try to establish realistic expectations .

Honeymoon:
This is an exhilarating time of adventure and discovery. You’re too busy to miss your old life and you are focused on getting settled into your new one. Everything seems exciting and promising. This is a good time to stop acting like a tourist. Get involved with the expatriate community, start using public transportation, take language lessons, start shopping in local markets. In general, take opportunities get to know your neighborhood and new culture. Focus on building a support network because you’re going to need it in the next phase.

Culture Shock:
Suddenly—or gradually—you become tired of how different everything is. You become tired of how difficult everything is. Whether its at the office or at home, you find it hard to be as productive as you were when you were in your home country. You start missing your friends and familiar routines you had before. Culture shock has hit you.

Don’t be surprised if your partner or children are irritable and tired also. Expect it and remember that it is normal. It is temporary, so expect it to end and look forward to getting past this stage. Take advantage of the groundwork you laid in the Honeymoon stage—call your new friends, contact community organizations, participate in your favorite activities, and cultivate a cultural mentor who can help you understand the new country. Try to avoid going into an “expat bubble.” Also, avoid going back to your home country during this phase as it will delay your getting through it.

Adaptation:
Adaptation is a continual process and one that you’ll experience for the remainder of your assignment. As you emerge from the Culture Shock phase, you begin to feel less frustrated by the differences in your new culture and begin to anticipate your daily routine with relish. You are more culturally fluent and can understand differences more readily. From time-to-time, you may experience some of the emotions you had during the Culture Shock phase.

Being on an international assignment is a constant growth and learning experience.

Create a Transition Kit
Your Transition Kit should help you in the first few weeks of your relocation. You’ll want to include the following (you’ll want to include more if you’re going to be waiting awhile for your household goods shipment to arrive):

Important Papers (see below)
Extra quantities of your prescription medications, contact lenses, etc.
Favorite family photographs
Copy of your address book
Favorite music and books that you’ll want in the first weeks
Toys and other “comfort items” for your children.

Make Copies of these Important Papers to Take with You

 Passports
 Immunization record and a copy of your medical records. (It can be vital to have complete records and details of family medical history available, especially in rural areas where doctors may be new or language problems may exist.)
 Credit cards and a record of the numbers
 Extra passport photos (10-12 for each person) You’ll want these for permanent resident and ID cards, driver’s licenses, etc.
 Certified copy of birth certificate
 Medical insurance cards and policy coverage information
 Driver’s license, International driver’s license
 School records
 Social security card
 Marriage certificate
 Copy of your Will or Trust
 Guardianship letter
 Divorce decree
 Child custody documents
 Copies of prescriptions
 Copies of insurance policies
 Bank books and records
 Power of attorney
 Diplomas/transcripts
 Serial numbers of major appliances, warranties and instruction booklets
 Inventory of stored items and safe deposit box items
 Address book

Everything takes time

There is usually a lag time between the planning, the action and then the outcome.

The understanding of this concept is what separates patient, far-sighted doers, with impatient excitable people who need to see immediate results to be persuaded.

Everything begins with a plan in mind – a vision which allows the person who came up with it to imagine the future, even if it seems undoable, out-of-this-world, or impossible.
It’s like this – what you think is possible to create a few years, or decades down the road, will only take place if there is first a plan which you choose to act on. If there is a plan, but no action is taken, there is a 100% chance of a zero progress situation. But when a far-sighted planner gets works on a plan to achieve a certain goal; if there is a consistent amount of work put into it, usually, the goal can be achieved, even if it takes a long time.

There are a couple of examples that will prove my point. As a Singaporean, I am immensely proud of the fact that despite my homeland being a small and resource-limited country, in just 45 years we astonished the world as a fishing village sprouted, blossomed, bloomed and grew into a nation highly revered around the world for its logistical efficiency, for its ability make things happen, and for the many hubs its rulers have achieved in making it become. A long time ago, when we were asked by Malaysia to leave, Singapore was forced into being independent – other countries fought for independence; we were left with no choice, but it was a blessing in disguise. Left on our own, the political leaders managed to conjure up a visionary dream and made it reality. Today, Singapore has progressed by leaps and bounds from what it first was in 1965, and virtually has become the centre out of which many companies and multinationals operate. It is a story of sheer determination and the power to imagine and create the future.

Taking the spotlight away from the Lion City, let’s go to a story based in South Korea. When you first think of the Internet, and its American inventors, it is natural to assume that the cheapest and fastest internet connection speed is in America. Unfortunately, South Korea beats the US flat on both fronts, but hey, no surprise. 10 years ago, South Korean leaders decided that they wanted to create a South Korea which was highly connected to the internet, and boy did they pump a lot of government money into it. They wanted to see how the investment would perform a decade later, and lo and behold – South Korea is now the country with the fastest and cheapest internet speed, thanks to the VDSL technology they used in the past few years, which AT&T in America is only beginning to adopt. And while America, whose government left linking up the States with the Internet to the private sector, is trying to catch up with South Korea, the latter is now moving on to optic fibre technology and aims to make it readily available to houses.

So we see that while nothing takes place overnight, an early mover advantage may not necessarily put you on center stage forever, particularly if you don’t do anything to continue progressing. Ok, I know that’s not new. But where the world asks and seeks for instant gratification and immediate results, we tend to forget that sometimes, slow progress in the present will show results in the future, whether far or near.

There is a quote which hangs on the wall outside my office pantry. It goes like this, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” Isn’t it true?

When the journey seems a lil’ too long..

I’ll always remember the quote on JH’s blog (Silver Lined Letters)..

“There are NO SHORTCUTS to any place WORTH GOING.”

Thank you for your words, always.

Trading floor glimpses

Sitting on the trading floor, I feel my ears absorbing every sound there is, and like a sponge heavy with water, my head feels tired and pulled down by the sheer force of trying to contain all that has been captured, in order to digest and process the information I receive.

In just 2 days, the environment, so unlike that of country finance, has seemed to alert me to the vast markets out there – a world that previously being in country I have been oblivious to. On a floor where trades are made and curse words simultaneously uttered, where screens open up in a stunningly dizzy collection of windows, where voices are constantly announcing the latest news and forecasts, it feels like too many things are going on for my better understanding.

Every second I hear another trade, another meeting being arranged, and another long string of foreign exchange rates being rattled off. Sometimes I am quick and sharp to process the information; to sift out the important voices and drop those random personal plans in manufacturing. Near me sits a man who types so hard on his BBG keyboard, that the first time I was introduced to those sounds, him banging his fingers on the keyboard, it shocked me so much I turned around just to stare at his back, not in annoyance, just in amazement.

I guess in a while I should be able to function with so much noise, taking in everything at once, throwing out unwanted data and drown out the back ground noise. There always appears to be such a large number of activities happening at every second, each minute that passes seems to encompass so much more than the same in country. Just being on the same level apparently has the effect of undergoing osmosis, where the vibe that runs through end-to-end of the room touches you as well, no questions asked.

An environment much more exciting than peaceful, it also brings with it the characteristics of short-tempered, impatient traders who have no room for errors, and whose patience is perpetually out of stock. Profanities, and raised voices are common, not expected to be a shocking fact to anyone who steps into the room. I do still feel uneasy sometimes when a trader bangs his phone down and swears at the person on the other line. I try not to move when that happens, I don’t wish to be caught staring at the producer of the anger in all his flaming glory. Everything moves so fast here; there hardly seems time for nonsensical banter or reading of stupid websites – screens are always open to the BBG’s glaringly orange font against the black background. Feels like the day has been going on for ages; when really it’s not even 6. Surprisingly though, it’s not the work that tires me, but the constant staring at the screen that puts a strain on my eyes.

I’m done with work today, over and out.

Pitstop along the journey

What does it take to achieve what you should be doing?

This is a question which has been invading my conversations, my thoughts, my dreams. What is that stirring in the heart that tells me I need something more than a day job, more than an occupation, more than a monetary obligation? What is that which keeps me awake at night, tossing and turning in my bed, causing my mind to tick non-stop, in search of an answer, to find that which would consume me with passion and purpose and drive? That is what has been driving me to question people and their motivations for their search for the ultimate goal (what is that goal, by the way?) and why they have chosen that as the final destination. It is also that which makes me ponder in deep desire of knowing, why others don’t seem bothered by a mundane and unmeaningful contribution as much as I am, if even at all. Why does the final goal have to be some place high up in the ladder, no matter which ladder you are climbing, and why do you even need to climb a ladder in the first place?

One year of work has passed, and if not for anything else, it has made me understand myself just slightly better, and each day I find the lack of purpose and significance more and more replaced by the push and urgency of a need to do something which contributes and adds value, more than just through counting of millions and the impact on a region, a division or even an entire corporation. Lehman is the best proof that an entity once hailed as an infallible god can overnight turn into shambles, its employees displaced from their previously enviable jobs. In just a few days, it turned from leader in the forefront to name in history, all for the wrong reasons. An organization whose power and might diminished and forgotten, is now substituted by other companies who have, because of the way things have fallen in place, happen to be at the right place at the right time. Corporations come and go, and employees, are similar to cogs in the machines, replaceable and easily disposed of. I don’t see myself as an employee; the word is too short-term to be of any deep significance to the people around. I have always wanted to be a value-adder, a contributor, but not just work-wise, but in all aspects, especially in the area of relations. I want to leave impacts which are lasting, and respected.

Maybe for some, this seems like a lofty notion, idealistic like a schoolgirl, silly and impressionisic. A year ago, some people told me very blankly that I am like that because I come from a pretty well-off family and did not have financial worries to tie me firmly planted on the ground, and so think and feel that notions like these are most important in a job. They said that one year later, when I had worked longer and interacted more with people who have worked for a long time already, I would withdraw my fluffy and frivolous ideals and realize my place in the practical ground, and stay there firmly rooted. I said that I hoped I would never become like that. They said let’s see. A year later, more questions pop up in my head, and instead of feeling more at home with my job and being satisfied with what I do (despite enjoying some of the tasks I have), I have gravitated more towards an immense desire to rethink and draw a new direction in my life. Technically speaking, there is one more year to think through what I would like to do, which path I would prefer to take, among the many. Yet I have a feeling leaving the pondering till a year later will be unbearable; I have already begun to consider many options that might make me feel more able to impact and influence people, in the ways that would count and last.

There are about 4 more months left of the year, and knowing how time flies, I dont suppose it will slow down anytime soon. The last 12 months have taught me a couple a things. That some people are friends right from the start, friends who encourage you and give you advice willingly, and there are some that will always remain colleagues and nothing more. And I was fortunate to have a manager who was also a friend, at least for once. Thankfully, when she changed jobs to be just a colleague, I lost a great manager, but I still have a great friend. I also learnt that most bosses do not stand up for you nor praise you when you have done something well, but that if you ever have the great chance to work for a boss worthy of your respect, you will praise him or her and their reputation will far exceed their areas of responsibility. I also realised that alot of times the limelight doesnt shine on people who have worked so hard to enable things to run smoothly, and that hard workers aren’t necessarily the most appreciated, but these are the unsung heroes who everyone else hail in their hearts and minds. I have also discovered that while many people do not personally impact your life in the long run, we take their impressions and thoughts of us much too seriously that they deserve to be taken; but the worst thing is that we realise that their opinions do not count, because in the first place they did not care two hoots while making the comments that bother you for ages. It has taught me to think carefully first about who honestly matters, not just because they give you your performance ratings, but more because they shape your life and it’s values, and because they truly put in effort and thought into what they do and say to you. And I know for sure that if you treat others with sincerity and respect, they usually reciprocate.

I still haven’t figured out a whole lot of things; I think the journey thus far has showed me I need to impact and influence people, but I am still wiping the mist off the windscreen in order to see clearly. If anything, the last 12 months have not been a waste of time, although I still am unsure about the career path I would like to take. The path less travelled, it may be, but till I can decipher the direction of my inner compass, I will try to appreciate the best of any situation I am put in. And the best are the lessons learnt.

Where You Lead Me, I will follow

Mercy Me– Undone, “Where you lead me”

What is life?
A thousand roads, a thousand ways
Why am I so afraid to move
I crossed the line
I’m stepping out so come what may
I give it all cause I’m drawn to You

As long as my heart is beating…
Where You lead me I will follow
Where You lead me I give my life away
Where You lead me I will follow
Forever and a day
Forever and a day

I can’t deny Your very presence is my life
And why would I ever turn away
Cause deep inside I know that I cannot rely
On anything less than faith

As long as my heart is beating…
Where You lead me I will follow
Where You lead me I give my life away
Where You lead me I will follow
Forever and a day

This is all I’m dreaming of
To live completely in Your love

So this is life

Where You lead me I give my life away
Where You lead me I will follow
Forever and a day

Where You lead me I will follow
Where You lead me I give my life away
Where You lead me I will follow
Forever and a day
Forever and a day

The past 10 weeks

After my 10 week internship stint at BBG ended, I realised that while I still have yet to decide for myself what I really want in a future career, there are certain things that I would want to take away from one, and there are others that I would not.

BBG’s culture and vibrancy as a fast paced multi national company was one of the pull factors that I honestly enjoyed. While some of the tasks may be repetitive and at times boring, the environment is always on the go; there is no time for slowing down, no time to say I’m tired, but it is this quick movement that makes you want to go even faster and work even harder.

BBG is also world famous for its staff welfare; parties, drinks, champagne flow freely on most Friday nights; any occasion to celebrate will most certainly be taken advantage of. Within my 10 weeks there, I had already attended 3 parties and 2 wonderful lunches. Of cos, I dont even have to mention the renouned pantry, whose hourly stock up by the pantry aunty puts most supermarkets to shame. We had the luxury of kettle chips, turkish dried figs, salad greens, a large variety of cereals, yoghurts, chocolates, even pocky strawberry and chocolate from our childhood memories! It’s truly amazing the amount of welfare BBG staff get to enjoy; but also something that we tend to take for granted until there is no more of it.

Yet apart from all the enjoyment experienced there, I also realised what I most certainly do not want from a future job– a mundane and routine daily work life that will bore me to tears, and that will not push me to stretch my capacity. While it may be tiring to be constantly pulled to expand, the end result will definitely be worth it.

As with any other company, politics is definitely there at BBG, where the most outspoken and most ass-kissing persons rise up the fastest, while the others who are simply themselves and refuse to do te boot licking wil remain in the lower ranks until they get tired of it.

All in all, it has been a terrific experience; 2 months that has been such a whirlwind of fun and memories. Of course, the wonderful people I’ve met there –all the way from the security guards to our direct supervisors who always go out of their way to help us get used to the environment– I definitely wont forget any of it.