Discovery

Staring out of the window

Into the cloudy skies above the ledge

I think and pause, the anxiety coming into waves of peace.

A stretch of road I see before me, long and still.

I’m running, jogging slowly at first, then faster faster faster

I find myself running straight into the Judea desert again

A sight that’s always been with me since I first stepped into Israel 4 years ago.

 

I’m walking through the sand dunes, dust covering my bare feet

Sifting through my toes as I tread carefully, trying to grip the sand for fear of falling.

 

I had been looking down, my eyes downcast and overshadowed

By the dust that flicks in my hair, swirling in the wind.

I lift my eyes to the skies, and

For one moment, a really long moment, my heart is caught in my throat; I clench my fists and I gasp in awe

The view that just spread itself out before me had caught me completely unaware,

Swept me off my blistered feet, and for that long pause,

I forget the weariness that I had been carrying with me

I lay it down, like a bag of stones I had been dragging along unknowingly

 

Right above me is a long flow of dark, so dark that it’s gleaming and shining so bright it stings my eyes

I find myself trying to tear away from the magnetic pull of the unraveled velvet sky, and realize that it is impossible.

I search the dark, and then, as my eyes adjust to its glow,

What I see touches my heart so much I cry.

 

I thought I was alone, then I saw a flicker.

Then another glimmer, then another spark that I didn’t see before.

Shiny metal and diamonds start making their guest appearances.

 

I am caught off guard, wide-eyed, stunned.

All my worries and my burdens suddenly seemed miniscule,

Upon the scale of heavens that had been suddenly and so majestically laid before me for my appreciation.

 

I see the world like never before. My eyes are opened to the possibilities there are, the much life that I had never noticed prior to that, prior to the time of being downcast and focusing on myself.

 

I find myself suddenly lifted like in Physics, because the pressure from below is so much stronger than the pressure from above. I am pushed upwards and I am soaring beyond my highest imagination.

I feel lighter, like helium, shooting past the sand dunes, looking down at the desert, my solace. I can’t stop flying; I can’t even if I tried. And I stop trying to stop, and let the wind keep me afloat, where I know I’ve found my peace.

 

Mannheim, Germany. 061207