Ties that bind

Family is so important, and during this period, I realise how much more important it is than ever before. This is Yeye; I love him so much.

您的决心是我的启发, 您教了我从未放弃, 因此您应该继续启发我。

”

 

Mein Opa

Yeye.

Epitome of strong will and determination, hard work and intelligence. Force behind the Lim family and an iron hand. Yet he sets such a strong example of being ever-ready to learn, innovative and simply unwilling to let destiny have free rein over him.

Yet Yeye is still human, and as his joints start giving in to age, and phsical boundaries which have been pushed are now maxed to the limit, I see a different side of him. A side where he keeps on walking despite the pain, because he is afraid of staying at home enclosed by four walls. A side where he wakes up at five am each morning to read English books so his mind will remain active. A side of him that is fragile and afraid. And that makes me afraid.

Ich liebe mein opa, although i hardly declare it, much less to him. I want to be there back in Singapore to walk with him in Vivo City, travel with him to Johor Bahru, bring him to Germany, his namesake. I want to walk the endless miles that he has walked, hand in hand with him, but different continents separate us and I can only call him and ask him questions in my limited mandarin which revolve around daily trivia. I want to hear all about his stories from the war times, of his youth, of his travels and his views. I want to do all these, just like I have wanted to each year as I grew up, but somehow something else just found its way to take up my time, and I forget, and brush it aside, thinking that I will have endless oppotunities to do so.

I prayed very hard today, until the tears came, because I was afraid, what of I dont even wish to say. But I know my Heavenly Father is in control, and I know he will be there to hold mein Opa, to be with him in this time and give him peace that will let him be happy. I wonder if Yeye is truly happy? Has he ever been? I want to ask so many people this question, I want to know their answers to it. But I know the only person I can trust right now is God, the almighty God who created all and hence can be the only one in control.

Dear God, I lift Yeye into your hands, I trust you to take care of someome that I love so much, because I know you love me so much. I pray for your strength and peace to be upon Yeye, for you to always be by his side as you have promised us. I pray for your hands of protection to be upon him whereever he goes, in whatever he does, and for you to restore his health. You created the heavens and the earth, you are the alpha and omega, and you will be the one right at the start and at the end. You are our comfort; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort us. Dear God, you know our hearts’ desires, you know our prayers, your know the love our family has for Yeye. As we lift our Grandpa into your hands, I pray dear god, you take good care of him like none of us can, and that he may know that You are with him. We love Yeye, but we know that You love him the most, and therefore we lift his health and safety to You and You alone. Amen.

Did I mention?

Did i mention that I love the reds, the oranges and the yellows that spill over in abundance on the Autumn stage?
Did I mention that I delight in taking countless photos of the blazing blue sky, dotted with fluffy clouds like perforated lines?
Did I mention that I revel in the long walks alone on the streets, breathing in the fresh aroma wafting from the bakeries, teasing me in their curling tendrils?
Did I mention that the roses planted outside my school greet me with so much brilliance every morning that my heart skips a beat and I slow down to catch their waves?
Did I mention how I stood in awe trying to take in the beautiful view of the wasserturm the first time I saw it in the night, complete with its background fountain performing for all the world to see?
Did I mention how I look out of the window each morning, predicting the weather and then slipping on my boots all set for a great day out?
Did I mention how even just sitting by the river behind my hostel and watching the swans swim gracefully makes me sigh in so much contentment?
Did I mention how much I love the anatomy and independence I am given no matter how much I miss and love my family back home?
Did I mention how each day I am so thankful for all I have, and how each time I remember to thank the Lord?
Did I mention that as the auburn leaves turn crimson red and the yellows fade away, my eyes capture all there is to see and still I cant take everything all in?
Did I mention how much I’ve been blessed with, so much I have to see, and so much more I have to see?
Did I mention that I know I made the right decision to go abroad and how I wish so many of my loved ones have the same chance to do so?
Did I mention that if you’re reading this blog, you’re probably one of those that I’m missing right now?

In her case

The rose, standing straight and tall,
petals alive and brilliantly shaded green.
Encased in a glass casing,
She flourishes from the sunlight,
Yet is unharmed by the harsh winter air.

In her case.

The rose, having fallen before,
Is now upright, stronger than ever.
A stunningly bright fuschia red
Spilling over the petals that make her being.
She is dancing and swaying in the safe comfort.

In her case.

She knows it is not her strength alone
That makes her what she is today.
Thorns which scratch and scar are gone,
Removed are shame and scorn.
No more reminders of sadness past.

In her case.