The past 10 weeks

After my 10 week internship stint at BBG ended, I realised that while I still have yet to decide for myself what I really want in a future career, there are certain things that I would want to take away from one, and there are others that I would not.

BBG’s culture and vibrancy as a fast paced multi national company was one of the pull factors that I honestly enjoyed. While some of the tasks may be repetitive and at times boring, the environment is always on the go; there is no time for slowing down, no time to say I’m tired, but it is this quick movement that makes you want to go even faster and work even harder.

BBG is also world famous for its staff welfare; parties, drinks, champagne flow freely on most Friday nights; any occasion to celebrate will most certainly be taken advantage of. Within my 10 weeks there, I had already attended 3 parties and 2 wonderful lunches. Of cos, I dont even have to mention the renouned pantry, whose hourly stock up by the pantry aunty puts most supermarkets to shame. We had the luxury of kettle chips, turkish dried figs, salad greens, a large variety of cereals, yoghurts, chocolates, even pocky strawberry and chocolate from our childhood memories! It’s truly amazing the amount of welfare BBG staff get to enjoy; but also something that we tend to take for granted until there is no more of it.

Yet apart from all the enjoyment experienced there, I also realised what I most certainly do not want from a future job– a mundane and routine daily work life that will bore me to tears, and that will not push me to stretch my capacity. While it may be tiring to be constantly pulled to expand, the end result will definitely be worth it.

As with any other company, politics is definitely there at BBG, where the most outspoken and most ass-kissing persons rise up the fastest, while the others who are simply themselves and refuse to do te boot licking wil remain in the lower ranks until they get tired of it.

All in all, it has been a terrific experience; 2 months that has been such a whirlwind of fun and memories. Of course, the wonderful people I’ve met there –all the way from the security guards to our direct supervisors who always go out of their way to help us get used to the environment– I definitely wont forget any of it.

A mache of cultures & experiences.

At every point in time, we are different from the person we will be at the very next point in time, and unique from the person that we were from the very last point in time. It is true that every experience layers a person again, and complicates his mind a little more.

We are a mish-mash of experiences and cultures that we go through; although we may not be influenced by the lifestyles or cultures that we have experienced, our thinking changes as a result of the exposure to them, and our mentality is shaped by what we have just seen and engaged in. Our views and opinions are daily getting moulded into something we never could imagine before, until that moment in time, when everything we are thinking and saying seems to make the most perfect sense, until the next. I suppose that’s why they say it takes experience and empathy to see beyond a person for who he is at present, to peer into the past which created the him he is today. By having an understanding of what made him become the him today, we cease to judge and cast shadows on his actions which otherwise would not be able to tolerate.

I am judgemental, sometimes to the extent that I shock myself. The shock deriving from the fact that the persons who I judge were just like myself in the past, but that I had forgotten what eased myself into behaving likewise and flippantly passed remarks that I would have previously been hurt by. Sensitivity is a function of empathy, and understanding, among many other variables, and no wonder I haven’t been as sensitive as I would like to.

This holidays I have observed things that previously I miss out on because I make too much noise; this time I like taking on the quiet, unassuming role of the observer. It’s interesting just absorbing the sights and sounds around me, making a silent note of the way others behave, and thinking hard about why they do so, sometimes so all-consuming you forget the part you have to play in life. I like it.

What a awesome adventure

For those who already know, I’m going to Germany for exchange, from August all the way to the end of this great year 2007. Yes, the land that produced the man that made history so exciting, yet also so horribly hard to swallow, the land from which the red swastika rose in all its merciless killing, the country which Hitler bound together in his insane rampage to exterminate the jews like termites feasting on a plank.

Germany has carved its name on history books and newspapers alike; the sound of its name a ring never too far away from our ears.  The historic fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989 stirred within the east and the west a spirit of unity that perviously did not prevail, as if the physically fall of the Wall simultaneously also resulted in a breakthrough that had been harbouring for decades.

For all the bad news Germany has made, this is also a nation whose directive force spearheaded the formation of the European Union, and whose conviction to put aside its differences with its nemesis, France, led to a united front that has carried Europe from a continent of divided countries to a mostly single domination. The foundational likeness and similarity in the countries’ economies and trade patterns, as well as culture and ease of mobility has made the European Union the most used example of a future for Asia to look forward to.

Germany is one of the major decision makers in the EU; with its economy being the largest in Europe and 3rd largest in the World (source: Wikipedia), and its main financial hub, Frankfurt is absolutely bursting with flavourful exuberance. It wasn’t a conscious decision for me to choose Germany because of its influential status in the world; but now that I sit back and honestly consider the pros and cons of choosing this country well known for its “German Precision”, “Bangers and Mash” and “Oktoberfest”, I am jumping with excitement to meet the country for whom my last visit at only entailed a 3 hour lunch in Blackforest to have a jug of beer, pork knuckle, and a glass of ice wine.

As the time for me to leave for my exchange draws near, my heart beats with the joy of a little child in anticipation of visiting the much renowned Disneyland. Nothing can explain the thrill I’m feeling each time I think about it; and I think nothing could beat seeing all the pictures of the lovely Mannheim Universitat castle that I will be staying and schooling in, except for being there.

Look at my eyes, they’re smiling.

It finally eased into July, the first month of the second half of the year. Like gentle waves rippling on the white gleaming sand, it has become summer, where the heat makes me want to don a bikini and glide with the ocean fish, where dancing flowers beckon for me to join their curtsey.

First month of the year seems so near yet so far; like distant memories playing hide and seek. January was filled with hopes and wishes, a dream made for the year, filled with aspirations and drive. It was going to be a great year, I knew it then, and till now, I still know it will be.

I know the next half will float by and away if I dont catch hold of it and make the most. I can hear the singing of songbirds not too far away, and I can see you smiling. And you know what, my eyes, they smile with you.

The world we live in

It is so hard to be good, and ethical in this broken down corrupted world. India and China are epitome of such brokeness and corruption; yet is it not for me to condemn their ways of working; it is just that it is so rampant that no other way of getting things done will get anything done at all.

Vatsan was telling us yesterday that to start a business in India, there are so many hidden costs that cannot be properly accounted for. Most of these miscellenous costs result from and include under the table transactions and coffee money to ease the restrictions that otherwise would be present and of a great hindrance to the flow of operations. Living in Singapore, it is easy to shake our heads in disgust and think that everyone should be ethical and uncorrupted; but in fact, we are the minority of Asian countries that actually practice what we preach (or at least appear to). Being a good business man is not covered in the University courses we diligently attend; so much of it has to be learnt on the job; only that some of us are more adept at learning the ropes than others.

This is what separates academics from real practitioners; the former like to idealize and theoreticize all topics that they cover; the later just find the best way to get things done and do it without thinking too much about the consequences. I think I lean more towards the former; with a bunch of lofty notions and ideals in my head, I tend to want to do more for a society than is actually possible.

Yesterday in our IB chat, Kelvin, Spencer and I discussed about poverty in the world; and whether giving humanitarian aid was worth it; or whether it was simply solving a problem temporarily while in fact causing more harm than good. Kelvin steadfastly pointed out the importance of self-motivation; his belief lay in the fact that people should strive to improve the quality of their lives, not merely depend on aid for survival. That is true; look at Africa– no matter how much aid has been pouring into the continent, it seems that there are always people dying of aids and poverty; but its mainly attributed to the government as well; the corrupt government and constant civil wars and illegal trade make life hard for these African nationals. Spencer asked me how I was going to try to help a world so badly in need of help; and I said I wanted to write and make the rest of the developed world aware of the terrible mess the rest of the undeveloped nations were in. He then asked me whether that would really be of any help– since after all if people dont help themselves, why should they be given help? I totally disagreed with that; there are so many loopholes to that argument; I told him it wasnt that I think people who dont help themselves should be left in the ditch to die; but that if we do not help them, there are many others who because of forced circumstances such as being sold as sex slaves and other abusive labour, have lost all hope of moving to a better life, that they succumb to a fate that was not theirs to begin with but unfairly thrown and thrust upon them.

We had a debate; the details of which are too much to go into; but we finally arrived at the same conclusion that education is the key to an improved life; but that unfortunately, there are so so many people who are deprived of the chance to be educated. It is ignorance that leads them to surrender their fate to be that of the victims, and also incidents that leave them marred for the rest of their lives.

Talking about this is saddening; that we are the fortunate few who can worry about things other than just our subsistence level is in fact a heavy responsibility on our shoulders; the more we are given, I feel, the more we should do for those that have not.

Jems in a stone; jewels in the scorching sun

Jh and I spoke briefly on the phone 2 days ago; she never fails to inspire me with her determination and drive to help improve the society she lives in, and to try to execute the smallest change she can. She’s one girl who I know will do great things, because of her inner tenacity, and her unsatisfied push for a better world.

Such are friends to treasure; a jem in a stone, glistening under the scorching sun.

Uncombed landscape.

New situations, different places, unfamiliar faces. It’s a lie if I say I dont feel afraid; but its also a lie if i said I’m not excited. Those close to me know I’m no great adventurer; just a wanderer in her mind and champion in her wild imagination. They know given a comfortable situation versus one whose outcome is unimaginable, I’d choose the former, skip the latter, and move right on with my life.

It’s really not that big a deal; but sometimes jitters form; for no apparent reason. But i must remind myself its for independence; conviction and for a crazy time of freedom. I may be leaving the warmth and cosy familiarity of home; but its time i did. 6 weeks isnt that far away; and honestly, honestly, I can’t quite wait.  :)