Happiness in an equation

Amazing how people (esp. economists) try to quantify everything in the world; I suppose being able to quantify something makes you feel more powerful; makes you believe that you can control and experiment with something that might actually be totally out of our control.

Yes, they do that even with happiness. The economics of happiness encompasses this particular equation, (gleaned from Jodi Picoult’s “19 minutes” that Jinhua has so graciously lent to me):
Happiness = Reality/Expectation.
Invert the equation and you get not the opposite of happiness, but you get HOPE.
Hope= Expectation/ Reality; so anyone whose expectations exceed reality is called an optimistic hopeful; anyone whose expectations fall short of reality is simply hopelessly pessimistic.

Sounds so easy eh? Too easy actually. Don’t really know much about the economics of happiness yet, but for more discussion on it, read Jinhua’s post at Unravelled (link provided on this page).

A rainbow of grey shades

It’s the greys that I find beautiful,
Not the black or white.
Nothing in life is so often truthful
It’s never like the emporium’s white bright light.

Were the whole realm of nature mine

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it Lord that I should boast
Save in the death of Christ my God
All the vain things that charm me most
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See, from His head, His hands, His feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown.

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demand my soul, my life, my all.

Mere Christianity– Part I: Appetizer

Recently, I began reading C.S.Lewis’ book “Mere Christianity”, and so far, in just a mere 50-odd pages or so, his words have brought me to a new understanding of why there must be a god, no matter how much of an atheist you are. Up till where I have read, his book has shown how the age old argument that there must not be a god because the world is an evil place, and that if there really were a god, he would not allow all this cruelty to exist, really does not work.

Look at it from this way; for us to be able to say that the world is evil would not make any sense unless there was a benchmark for man to compare the “Evilness” of the world to. So if there really was a benchmark, then only would there be any weight to calling anything either good or bad. Because we are comparing to something that is good, the world seems bad, but the very fact that we assume the existance of the presence of good, is also evidence of the fact that we believe that this “good” must have originated from somewhere/something. And this somewhere/something has to be a person or power that is higher and better than us; and hence, it defaults to the conclusion that there must be a god, where it is the Christian god, Hindu god, or whatever not. In the same light, a man cannot say that a line is crooked unless he has any idea, no matter how vague, of a straight line; if not the adjective “crooked” will be as meaningless as the word “bad”. C.S.Lewis then leads us to show why the Christian God is the real god. An argument has to be argued based on the initial assumption that the conclusion you wish to come to is true; and as in statistical hypothesis testing, you first set up a hypothesis that would eventually lead to you proving whether your hypothesis is right or wrong, and whether you should reject or accept the hypothesis in the end. On this assumption, C.S.Lewis objectively leads the reader to realize what is the truth.

So, beginning with this assumption that God is the real god of the universe, the omnipotent person and everpresent being that created the universe, it suffices to say that if he had created us, it is impossible for us to try to play god or try to even just separate ourselves from Him, who is our source of life and reason for our very existence. Just like how a flow of water can never be higher than its source, so are we as humans who can never be better or even the same as our God; the very best we can do is try to ammulate Him, but never to think that we can supercede Him or act like we are God.

Similarly, when we lose touch with our spiritual communication with God, we are like engines that try to run on anything else except the fuel that we were created to run on; and any substitute for the real fuel will only lead to a suboptimal performance and unsatisfying life. Cutting ourselves off from the Maker Himself, is as in Lewis’ words “cutting off the branch from which we are sitting.”  Amazingly true; in my msn chat with Eunice a few months previously, she said that if we had been created for fellowship with God, there is no other way that we can find true happiness unless it is in God’s presence and unless we find dependence in Him. Words of wisdom from someone I really respect.

So far, this thin book that C.S.Lewis wrote has left me in amazement; his wisdom can only have come from one source and one source alone– God. And though this book was written half a century ago, its words still resonate for every Christian that truly yearns to find meaning in his belief and decision to trust in God.

Unfortunately, I have more than 3/4 or the book to read before I can tell you more about how he finally reached his conclusion that Christianity is the truth, and how Lewis, through his originally Atheistic arguments eventually realized that whatever he was arguing against before was actually the reason for his existence. So this is just the appetizer; hope it whetted your tastebuds enough till I’ve read more.

Did You rise the sun for me?

Always, By Hillsong 

Did you rise the sun for me?
Or paint a million stars that I might know your majesty?
Is Your voice upon the wind?
Is everything I've known marked
With my maker's fingerprints?

Breathe on me
Let me see Your face
Ever I will seek You

Chorus: 'Cause all You are,
is all I want, always
You draw me close in Your arms
Oh God, I wanna be with You

Can I feel You in the rain?
Abandon all I am to have You
Capture me again
Let the earth resound with praise
Can You hear as all creation lives
To glorify one name?

Perception is more tangible than reality?

This is the phrase that danced around my mind the past one week. I think it represents that life that we are so caught up with, and in a conversation with youyi, I suddenly thought that hey, people are obsessed with the superficial. That is why what people perceive can be deemed to be more real than reality itself, and also why we end up using every means possible to create the image of what we expect people to see us as.  Very often, we succeed at doing that, so much so until we get mixed up between who we are perceived to be and who we really are.

It doesnt matter what you try so damn hard to be, becasue unless it relates to a portrayed vision of what you want to become, no one will ever take you seriously. No one, that is, that only looks at the thin porcelain surface and never bothers to look beneath. No one, that is, whose obession with what can be seen overrides the desperate need to comprehend and understand what needs to be felt. Even if you are the poorest person on earth, but give people the false facade that you are actually quite well-off and can afford the luxuries of life, you most often can succeed in fooling the man in the crowd, who doesn’t care to see past your carefully crafted masquerade, who only views you as a sum total of how you look, speal and behave, whose only interest is how of how much benefit you can be to him.

Marketing, no matter how much of a smokescreen it is, requires knowing this truth that perception is more tangible than reality, and that is why marketing gimmicks often fool us so dreadfully easy. We are suckers for anything that looks good, gives the impression (and note the term “impression”) that we will be better off without it and should just die without it, and that enables us to show off to our peers that we are something they are not because we possess something that they do not.

It is this truth that corners so many in fear of exposing their honest faces and stricken tears, and pushes people to an edge that overlooks nothing but a deep dark valley. When people know how much their outward expressions, appearances and behaviors tend to be judged and how they are unwillingly bestowed upon with false accusations and judgmental untruths, they sink into a cycle of trying to change themselves outward-in, as opposed to inside-out. 

So many management theories and MBA courses keep drilling in our heads that we must appear a certain way in order to maintain order in the office; that in order to manage the people at work, we cannot be honest about our feelings, but we must be politically correct all the time, and that we should try our utmost to network as much as possible and give the impression that we are happy with all we meet. All these only leads to an outward change that never truly flows into the core of our being. Corporations write long corporate charters about the values and morals they embrace publicly, but mostly for show; corporate social responsibility often tends to be end up being used as a way to boost publicity and increase their ailing share prices. Today I learnt that “Intergrity” comes from the greek word for “integrated”, and essentially “integrity” refers to us integrating our moral values with the way we operate and live our daily lives. how unfortunate that we don’t really integrate our true character and values with our work, since most of us only dare to live lifes following the manual that teaches us to be politically correct and to network with the high and mighty.

I know I’ve been on this topic on quite a number of posts; but it’s such an important issue of discussion that its importance has to be realised. I hope you took something away from this; I hope you aren’t one of those Im talking about.

Who am I, that You would place Eternity into my heart?

One Life, One Love: CHC 

Who am I
That You would know me from the start
Set me apart
Who am I
That You would place eternity
Into my heart

You have given to me
More than this world could give
My purpose is found in You

One life, I lay at Your altar
One love, I have with You
Touch me again
Fill me as You hold
My outstretched hands

One word, You know I will follow
One heart, broken to You
Use me again
Your mercies follow me
For all my days

In Your presence
In Your power
Holy Spirit I surrender

The art of observation

This week I started work, and in a flurry of training sessions, lunches, and annual reports to gather, I found the first of ten weeks fly by faster than I wished. But in the past 5 days, observations which led me to swipe away the gravel of judgments that I easily make unravelled an entire slew of hidden understanding and revelations that I would never have believed I could discover.

Moving away from the superficial ease that I had often used to bridge a gap with others with, it struck me that I could still be comfortable with others and retaining the person I was. Rather than comment much too readily and easily on things that I only see with my naked eye, I tried to tap on the silent signals being sent out, the yearning for true friendship that was so darn obvious after the first immediate layer of aloofness had been torn away, and the stark realisation that those who oft seem the most confident and comfortable with the lives they lead are also frequently very much not at all.

I have to applaud those that I have met that dare to lay their bare selves on a platter for the world to see and devour, unafraid of the consequences of being so transparent, because they want never ever to be remotely linked with being hypocritical or untrue to themselves. Then there are those that appear to be just an empty choice of outward appearance decisions, most often acting in a manner that would strike the person on a street as calm, composed and made for great things. Yes, they may be made for great things, they have the ability and the flair, but then they may also lack the truthful honesty and EQ that helps to remain at the top.

Apart from these, I have also seen how someone whose outward swagger and smirk of arrogance crumbles under the moonlight and a few drinks to reveal someone with so much despise for who he has become. Yet while knowing that this conflict in conviction and actions may be sinking him deeper and deeper into a hole of numbness, he still refuses to break out of this vicious cycle and just condemns himself, in a manner of jest laced with true self-condemnation and despair.

The people that very often know themselves the best, are also mostly the same people that try so hard to put on an act, because of fear that constructs a great wall of protection that might shield them from rejection and humiliation. It seems to be that they would rather have the world think of them as jerks and bastards that have no hope and future that don’t give two hoots about the state they are in, instead of allowing others to see them as they truly see themselves — people that look down on themselves and are stuck between a state of despising themselves and faking that they are lovin’ it. Could you tell me why?

I’m running a race that is my own

I’m running a race that is my own 
No one else but mine.
The prize ahead is mine alone
But i still seem so far behind.

I’m running a race that is mine to behold
A race of crafted gold
The road is paved and full of twists
But I know the chance is mine to seize

It takes more than a little sprinkle
Of determination, much more than a twinkle
It takes hard work and honest truth
To reach above the big glass roof

I’m running a race that is my own
No one else but mine alone
Its not enough to just think bold
I need to reach out and to hold.

I’m running a race that is my own
Don’t think about the others so
The trophy is mine to carry
And therefore I do as I’m told.

Enough is never enough

On a Metro shopping bag I spotted the quote “I’m in an enough-is-never-enough kinda mood”. Immediately I smiled, a twitch on my face that I understood to be the acknowledgement of having been in that same situation before. At the same immediate instant, clear as day was the knowledge that the very notion that shops use for their marketing to lure us to want more, buy more and suddenly “need” more, is also the same instinct that keeps us from ever feeling content and at ease with the current state of our finances, material possessions and status symbols.

I saw that quote and right away a questioned popped in my mind, and I was bursting to ask the shopping bag (which would have looked a tad ridiculous), that since enough is never enough, why do we even bother trying to get more? since all the extra shopping and possessing is only the start of a maze of never feel satiated or satisfied, why do we still fall prey to the same old marketing gimmicks that work time and time again to scratch our itch to own more than others, or just more than what we already have? Marketing gurus like Kotler teach in their textbooks how effective marketing creates needs that we previously did not have prior to looking at the advertisements, and I guess with a little help from us and our never ending lists of desires and coveted items, it is pretty easy to be a successful marketeer.

A day trip of window shopping in town with my Aunt from Kuantan left me complaining that singapore was boring, absolutely nothing here could hold our attention for long, and how much it made me want to travel even more. Although I felt it was a simple stating of facts, my Aunt admonished me and said that nowadays we dont know how to appreciate what we have, and comparatively to the days of old (meaning one generation and up), we didnt know how fortunate we were.  In my stubborn pride I replied that it was just the truth and that was all it was, yet I knew that her words rang with wisdom and understanding. That never knowing what it was to lack, I only knew what it was to want; never knowing what it was to fight and work so darn hard for what I needed, I only knew what it was to complain that I wasn’t getting as much as others were, and that the life that I had could always have been better.

Sometimes I forget how much more I have relative to others; how fortunate I am to be able to travel with my family each year for a trip on an aeroplane far enough for the flight to last more than 6 hours at least, and how blessed that I can complain of having to send my winter clothes to be dry-cleaned as it means that I have had the privilege of being to somewhere where the whether was not defined by the equator. I forget that delicacies like abalone and sharks’ fin costs more than the usual plate of Hor Fun, and end up grumbling that we to eat that every birthday dinner we end up celebrating; such facts slip my mind as easily as the vitamins I eat slip down my throat each morning, and yet I still complain and wish that they didnt taste so bad and that I didnt have to eat them and end up spoiling my mood for brunch.

Sometimes I also covet and wish that I could have bought that pretty little watch anytime I wanted without having to think twice, thrice and many more times before finally deciding against doing so; that sometimes money wasn’t as important to me as it is; that I had enough to spend without having to budget and trade off having a good time. It slips my mind that unlike others who are less able to complain, I have at least insurance to cover my family, and I don’t have to worry about what to do when my parents retire and I have to be the sole-breadwinner; unlike others who have yet to fly on an aeroplane, I have had the awesome privilege and the financial capability of going for exchange to Germany next term and study in a school that used to be a palace in Mannheim; that I have been to more places where I did not understand their language than places that I do, and that each year I travel (short and long trips alike) at least 3 times.

This instinctive covetous nature of ours is so strong that God had to write in the 10 commandments that “Thou shalt not covet”, so that with what He has bestowed upon us, we will use to the greatest extent and be appreciative. Im starting to realized that I have more than enough. And that’s enough.